PSA: YOU ARE POWERFUL AF. QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU'RE NOT

I have a confession to make.

My beliefs around life pretty next level and trigger the fuck out of most people, and because of that, I sometimes hesitate to share them.

Yet, at the same time, I am fully aware that BECAUSE these beliefs are so WILD and on the EDGE of popular concepts of “What It Means To Be Human” and “How Life Is”, that I trust in the Universe enough to know, that they wouldn’t be in my heart and soul, JUST FOR ME. That more so, they are here for me to express and share, and to help and be of service.

That’s the thing about gifts, ideas, desires, inspirations, creative impulses, etc.

They aren’t just downloaded TO you, just FOR you.

They are meant to be utilized. To be shared. To use for impact.

(Consider that the next time you’re afraid to speak your truth or go after your dreams and desires)…

Ok, so anyways, back to the point.

I’m doing a pretty good job of dodging and avoiding the ACTUAL THING that I want to share with you.

And before I say it, I will say this: I am not only speaking to YOU, but ALSO myself, because obviously what triggers us from the outside is simply a reflection of our own internal shit that we get to look at and take responsibility for. So in the following rant, I am not only ranting on YOU (maybe? Depends….;))…but mostly…MYSELF.

Because we can sit here all day online and rant and message and inspire and teach and lead, but REALLY, at the end of the day, all anyone has power over, control over?…RESPONSIBILITY OF…is their OWN life, their OWN thoughts, their OWN perceptions, reactions, actions and beliefs.

Right?

Which kind of brings me to the entire point of my blog today.

And it’s the…

HEY!! HEY YOU!!! YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM!!!!

YOU ACTUALLY GET TO CHOOSE EXACTLY WHAT YOUR LIFE LOOKS LIKE.

You are not at the mercy of the moon, your boyfriend, your bank account, the economy, Sally Sue who was a total bitch to you at work the other day, the holidays, traffic, and whatever else you would like to use as an excuse for why you are not moving forward on your dreams.

You are not moving forward because you are CHOOSING not to.

Plain and simple.

Now, this may be an unconscious choice for sure (and probably is!), but look at that, we just brought it to light! And now you get to choose to look at it.

I get so triggered when my clients/followers/friends act (and pretend like) they don’t have choice.

And of course, I ALWAYS get to tune in and take a look at why I’m so triggered by that, and where I am not practicing choice in my life.

We act like we are at the mercy of the Universe, and we forget that we ARE the Universe.

You are more powerful than you will ever even probably BEGIN to understand.

How many of you are holding off on launching something because it’s holiday season?!?!

Do you understand that you have a limiting belief that “people don’t invest in themselves during the holiday season because they are buying gifts for people”, and that’s it’s not actually the TRUTH?!

Also, not to mention, that belief is coming from scarcity and lack, if you look at it.

Do you know how many people have a belief that the holiday season is the easiest time to sell their online products/programs online, and therefore that is the result that they create?

Neither one is TRUE, but whatever you EXPECT, you will SEE evidence of.

So why do you continue to buy into beliefs that don’t serve you?

And if you’re still shaking your head, and saying, but no, Kelly, it’s TRUE!!!

Then I would invite you to have a heart to heart with yourself. How is it benefitting your life, your legacy, to continue to dig your heels in about stuff that straight up just doesn’t serve you?

What do you gain by doing so?

So…to recap…none of the following are valid excuses for not following your dreams:
-My list isn’t big enough.
-It’s Mercury Retrograde.
-I’m tired.
-Everyone else is already doing what I’m doing.
-It’s the holiday season.
-It’s tax time.
-I only have x amount of hours per week to work on my business.
-I don’t have the money.
-There’s too much to do so I might as well not do anything.
-People would talk shit.
-No one in my family has ever done it.
-The universe is asking me to slow down.
-My horoscope said not to.

The only valid excuse for NOT following your dreams?

-I DON’T WANT TO BECAUSE IT DOESN’T ULTIMATELY BRING ME JOY.

That’s it.

That’s the only valid excuse.

And if that’s the excuse, then it’s time to get yourself into some meditation hut in some jungle somewhere and start doing some soul searching about your life’s path and what it is that REALLY desire to create in this lifetime (can also be done at home in a bubble bath, BTW) ;)

All the bullshit excuses I listed above…do you want to know WHY they are bullshit?

Because they are literally handing your creative power over to anything and everything outside of yourself, when your REAL and TRUE job in life is to harness your own creative power and let that be all you need.

Because it IS all you need.

If you are on a mission, come hell or high water, to fulfill on your dream, NOTHING can stop you.

It’s the energy that creates worlds.

Literally, NOTHING can stop you.

And if it does, you simply figure out how to keep going anyways, and then you KEEP GOING.

I’m so tired of hearing you (and ME!) spoon-feeding ourselves a bunch of sugary bullshit about not pushing too hard, and doing it only when it feels like it’s the right time, or when the economy is better, or when I have more “proof” that it’s going to work.

YOUR SHIT WILL WORK AND YOU’LL GET RESULTS WHEN YOU STOP WAITING FOR PROOF.

Deem yourself worthy, make the decision, and then act with full faith, until it happens, and then continuing on past that too.

THIS is how people create complete transformation in their lives.

You know those people that you haven’t seen in five years and you see them and you’re like what the HELL happened? They got skinny, rich, and happy practically OVERNIGHT.

It’s because they chose to no longer be dictated by outside circumstances and decided to just CHOOSE and OWN THEIR POWER.

SHIZAM.

And that’s how it’s done.

This is exactly the kind of thing we work on when you work with me 1:1. We approach business growth (and personal growth), and creating results from a place of taking RADICAL responsibility for who you are, what you believe, and what you’re creating.

Want to learn more about what working with me privately looks like? PM me and let’s chat.

YOU ARE POWERFUL AF.

Go create your epic life.

**IT IS SAFE TO BE YOU AND JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT**

**IT IS SAFE TO BE YOU AND JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT**

There’s been a lot coming up for me lately around people pleasing and codependency.

Like, A LOT.

I’m realizing more and more, as I step deeper and deeper into radical personal responsibility for my life, my choices, my beliefs, my thoughts, my actions, my PERCEPTION, and my leadership, that doing so?

Is not the status quo.

Most people are afraid to fully own and claim their desires, because they are afraid of making other people comfortable, or hurting another’s feelings.

They are afraid that them shining their light, takes away from others.

#nottrue

Most people are afraid to be “selfish”, because they’ve been taught by society to put other’s needs first, and that “being nice” is the top priority.

Which leads, in my opinion, to a whole lot of people walking around, not giving their souls what they truly need to live an expansive, creative, ABUNDANT life, because they have it, that THAT isn’t a priority, but what is?

Is taking care of everybody else.

Which, ultimately, when you take care of somebody else, you are actually subliminally teaching them, that they can’t take care of themselves.

Do you see this weird cycle that society is in??

So I see lots of people (like myself), stepping up and taking RADICAL PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY while also not giving a fuck about how other people perceive that..

And it’s disruptive.
It ruffles feathers.
It is so AGAINST everything that MOST of us learned growing up.

And, in my opinion, it is the most empowering way that one can lead.

This is why I don’t coddle and do hand holding with my clients.

The most empowering thing I can do for my clients, is to allow them the space, and to SHOW them, that THEY have the power, that THEY are the ones they have been looking for, and that the answers lie inside of THEM (not outside).

Yes, I am gentle and sweet. But I am ALWAYS going to put responsibility first. Personal responsibility. And guide them to do the same.

When you are taking 1000% personal responsibility for your own life, there is nothing that can stop you.

Because you are rooted and grounded into the knowledge and truth, that when you take personal responsibility for everything and anything that happens in your life (mind you - not taking BLAME, but responsibility - two different things)…then you are literally able to create anything you desire.

This is why I have stopped “standing for people” when we are in conversation about working with me in one of my programs.

If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.

And me convincing you of all the reasons why you CAN be ready, and wanting it more than you do, doesn’t do either of us any good.

Because you won’t do the work. And won’t get results.
And I will be frustrated and feel drained from coaching you.
#truth

You cannot take personal responsibility for another’s path and process.
Only your own.

You CAN hold space for the people who are ready to rise up.

And how do you “get them” to rise up?

You just continue taking personal responsibility for your own life and shine your light so freaking bright, so they can see what’s possible.

So yes, making a shit ton of money, and living a freedom-based lifestyle, and buying designer handbags, and having these “radical” beliefs about manifestation and wealth, can absolutely (and do!) trigger a LOT of the people around you on a day to day basis.

But who the fuck cares?

If you are taking personal responsibility for your life, shining your light bright for those who are ready to be in it, and changing the world with your amazing gifts…..

The rest?

It doesn’t matter.

Be willing to not be liked.
Be willing to step outside the norm.
Be willing to stand for something that some people might not understand yet.

Be a pioneer.
Be on the leading edge.
The world will only transform, if those of us who are courageous enough to step into higher frequencies and levels of consciousness…

Are willing to do what it takes.

And more importantly…are willing to BE what it takes.

A-FUCKING-MEN.

xo!

Kelly

// INTEGRITY //

I have a confession to make.

 

Not because it’s “popular” or “trendy” or “good for engagement”.

 

But because I made a commitment a long time ago, to live into my truth and to share that truth with my community, online and off.

 

This confession is probably not what you think it’s going to be.

 

I see a lot of online leaders making confessions about where they have been out of integrity and I think that that is AMAZING.  It paves the way for a higher level of leadership, authenticity, and TRUTH.

 

In the past couple of years, I have felt energies coming from people, and I’ve seen ways that they have operated online, in the public eye, and also behind closed doors and in private.

 

And a lot of it has not sat well with me.  And of course, it is all a part of being human, right?

 

We all have our darkness and the shit we get to work on, shift and transform.

 

But here’s where I’m going with this:

 

I’ve watched a lot of leaders call each other out, directly, and passive aggressively online.

Shit, I was called out in a room full of people, without my name actually being said.

 

And what I was being called out for, even though I knew deep down was not true about me, I took on as my own judgment.

 

You see, it is REALLY easy to give someone else credit, and make yourself wrong, if you aren’t standing fully in your own power.

 

I made other people’s judgments of me TRUE, even though I knew, deep down, that I was acting in a high level o f integrity.

 

So this is my confession: I have allowed other people’s perceptions and judgments, to create my own beliefs about my own integrity.

 

Even though, I’ve always known (and stayed committed to) operating from a high level of integrity.

 

My intentions have always been pure.

My values have always been in alignment with my heart.

 

And I swayed from that.  I began to make myself wrong for things that I was never wrong for.

 

All of this came to the surface today, in a session with one of my amazing mentors, when I shared with her some more unfoldings of a deep self worth thing that we are unpacking at the moment.

 

In the past couple of days, I’ve really seen and been shown how high of a level of integrity, service, compassion, and authenticity I actually operate (and have operated at).

 

Part of my commitment in life is to ALWAYS be responsible for my own life, my own experiences, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, etc, so I am in no way here being a victim to “what other people have said or done.”  

 

But I do want to point this out, because maybe you are doing this right now too.

 

Are you allowing people who are “further along” than you, “more successful” than you, “more creative” than you, WHATEVER, to dictate what you know to be true about yourself?

 

It’s a good question to ask yourself.

 

Because only you know what to be true for you.

And YOU know whether or not you are in integrity or not.

 

No one else can define that for you.

 

And most of the time, when people show up, guns ablazing, shaming someone else for the way they are doing things, it’s usually not even ABOUT the person who the finger is pointing at, right?

 

Everything is a mirror.

 

And there are a LOT of projections at play.

 

So the lesson here for me (and hopefully for you too, if you are resonating with this post), is to be brave enough to have your own back.

 

Be brave enough to take a look at WHO YOU ARE AT THE CORE and decide for YOURSELF if you are acting in full integrity and alignment, or not.

 

Nobody else gets to define you, except you.

Nobody else gets to choose what is true for you, except you.

 

The lesson here is to love yourself enough, and to claim your worth enough, to really OWN the places where you ARE in integrity, and also the places where you are not.

 

So this lightbulb today was brilliant one for me.

 

I have always known that I am really good at what I do.

I have always known that I put service first.

I have always known that I am not interested in competing.

I have always known that I will not sell my soul for money.

I have always known that I am honest about who I am.

 

Yet my self worth stuff came up and I actually started to believe that maybe I DIDN’T have the best intentions.

 

How could I when Sally Sue said that “coaches who do x,y,z are out of integrity.” I mean, she’s making triple in her income what I am currently making so SURELY she MUST know better than I do, and SURELY EVEN must know more about WHO I AM AT THE CORE, THAN I DO RIGHT??

 

EHHHHHH

 

Wrong.

 

Be brave enough to know who you are on a deep, deep level.

 

Be brave enough to define yourself.

 

Be brave enough to not allow other people’s opinions to sway you.

 

****************************************************

 

If this post resonates with you, and you are wanting to dive into deeper and deeper levels of authenticity and truth in your messaging, your tribe building, and your business as a whole, this is just ONE of the things I focus on with my 1:1 clients.

 

I’ve got three (potentially 2 as I am in conversation with someone who is interested in signing up) spaces open at the moment.  If you’re ready to go DEEP, shoot me an email at kelly@kellyatwood.com for details.

 

xx

***IN EVERY MOMENT, THERE LIES A CHOICE***

***IN EVERY MOMENT, THERE LIES A CHOICE***

Do you find yourself waiting for some magical thunderbolt to drop out of the sky and deem you worthy enough, qualified enough, badass enough, pretty enough, smart enough, experienced enough, etc?

I find myself doing this often.

Waiting for some outside thing to click into place, and give me the green light that - ahhh, NOW I’m ready.

Now, it’s okay to shine my light really bright.
Now, it’s okay to fully own this thing.
Now, it’s okay to be successful.

Right?

The problem in this is that if you are always looking outside of yourself for permission, then you will never actually get there, and you will have frittered your life away waiting for said magical thunderbolt, and you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass (if your 90 year old hip allows), for not just being the one to choose it and give yourself permission a long ass time ago.

I just wrote this in my journal just now:

There is nothing more to prove.
There is nothing more to do.
There is nothing more to learn.

The time is now.
You are ready.

What you are looking for, has been within you this entire time.

You see, these giant shifts and magical (and sometimes seemingly overnight) transformtions, don’t come from this “come to Jesus” type of epiphany.

Angels don’t sing.
There isn’t this sudden technicolor landscape.

Real, sustainable, deep, cellular transformation is caused by a buildup of many moments.

Moments of choice.

Moments of intentional choice.

Tiny moments.

Not just the big ones.

But the small ones.

One of my newest clients was just sharing with me how she has been catching herself in moments like these - with a particular thought process or something she catches herself saying out of habit, and how much of a game changer it has been for her to catch it and shift it in the moment.

It may SOUND like a lot of work, but the reality is that if you can commit to the daily choosing, in each moment, of who you need to be, who you WANT to be, who you CHOOSE TO BE?

Well, it shifts pretty quickly after that, now, hey?

Just check in. Notice who you are choosing to be in each moment. And if you don’t like it?

Don’t waste the time getting all boo-hoo-ey about it…Just. Choose. Different.

You’ve got this.

*********

Hey wine lover! Have you heard about this special offer I’ve got going on. I’m calling it my Aussie Offer. Between now and Tuesday, November 14th at 11:59pm EST, when you sign up for the Direct Cellars Wine Club (a monthly wine club shipment to your doorstep!), you will also receive ONE FREE WEEK OF WHATSAPP COACHING WITH ME!! (valued at $250!)

It’s easy. Simply head on over to (http://bit.ly/2hmRDgW) and choose the two or four bottle option and if you’d like red, white, or both. Your wine ships directly to your front step, every single month, and you can cancel any time. If, after your first shipment, you refer three friends to the club, you receive your wine for FREE every month, that all three friends stay active as club members.

Plus, a week’s worth of WhatsApp coaching with me.

Why jump on this? (Beside the vino obvssss):

Because - one week of WhatsApp coaching with me is a game changer.

Here’s what my client Darcy had to say after just one week of WhatsApp coaching: “I just want to tell you I am so grateful for you. It’s only been one week but I feel different. Thank you. Like not a little thank you, but a million times over.”

Put me in your pocket, literally. And then drink fabulous wine on top of that.

Seriously. It’s a no brainer.

Sign up now: http://bit.ly/2hmRDgW

Cancel any time.

(Within 24 hours of purchasing your Direct Cellars wine club membership, you will receive an email from me with instructions on how to begin our seven days together).

xx,
Kelly

***I PUNCHED A PILLOW AND I LIKED IT***

***I PUNCHED A PILLOW AND I LIKED IT***

{{WARNING - This post contains some pretty heavy shit that may be slightly uncomfortable to hear. It’s scary for me to share it. But I continue to remain committed, wholeheartedly, to my truth.}}

Today has been One Of Those Days.

You know…

“Those” days.

Before I tell you about today, let me start off with a little background.

I grew up learning (from society, from my parents, from my community, from school), that being loud, expressing my emotions, and being too BIG, was not okay.

Crying in public: Not okay.
Screaming at the top of my lungs with excitement: Not okay.
Expressing anger: Not okay.
Talking too loud and for too long: Not okay.
Showing you are disappointed: Not okay.
Confronting someone when they’ve pissed you off: Not okay.

Swallow.
Bury.
Deny.
Suppress.

I’ve always been a fiery little firecracker who won’t take no for an answer.
I’m an only child, and most of the time, I act like one.

I know what I want, I know how I want it, and I wanted it, like, yesterday.

I also know that I’m always right and have the best ideas.

I also get REALLY freaking excited about what I’m passionate about, and want to shout it, LOUDLY, to whoever will listen.

And when I feel anger, oh my goodness, my blood BOILS, and I feel like I could lift a car.

But….

Suppress.
Bury.
Deny.
Swallow.

According to most of society, it is not polite to tell the truth, when the truth sounds rude or hurts.
According to society, it’s not okay to have a nervous breakdown in the cereal aisle because you’re tired and you shit your diaper.

According to society, it’s more important to play nice, fit in, keep everyone around you comfortable, then it is to tell the fucking truth, YOUR TRUTH, in the way you NEED to say it, in order to fully express and release it.

You want to know what’s awesome about this??

WE
ARE
SOCIETY

So let’s turn this shit around, eh?

Ok, so back to my story.

I was taught through example to stuff my emotions down.
And so I did.

When my parents got divorced when I was eleven, I was devastated.

I did everything I could to try and get them back together.

And I failed.

Which then had me thinking that it was actually myself that was a failure.

And I was sad.
And angry.

And I stuffed it.
And buried it.
And swallowed it.

I did better at school.
I joined more activities.
I was the happy kid with a smile on her face.
Anything to avoid my feelings.

Just push harder, study more, achieve more, WIN MORE.

Until it all came crashing down.

Which is exactly why, by the ripe old age of 17 years old, I was a high school drop out, strung out on meth/coke/ecstasy/special K/whatever else I could get my hands on, and wasn’t coming home most mornings until 9am because I had been up dancing in some abandoned warehouse all night.

I was a fucking mess.

THAT is just ONE example of what can happen when you stuff your feelings.

In my 20s and 30s, I found other ways to numb out, bury, suppress and deny my feelings.

In less self-deprecating ways for sure, but still.

I now took on people pleasing. That was my new Mode Of Operation.

Color between the lines.
Look put together.
Don’t swear.
Act smart.
Smile.
Make eye contact.
Do NOT tell that person how you REALLY feel even though they just slept with your boyfriend.

ETC.

Can you relate?

Thank goodness I found personal development work when I was 30 and I was two weeks away from watching my mother die in my arms.

I remember the day I opened up Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein.

It was handed to me by someone, who I’ve since forgotten.

I was laying in the off-white chaise lounge that we had pulled up to the hospital bed that had become my mother’s personal prison in the five months prior.

She was asleep. She was pretty much unconscious.

We had already had “all the talks”. At this point in time, we were all just watching the clock.

I would sit in there, day in, day out, and watch her chest, rise, and fall.

Every thirty seconds or so, her morphine machine would beep.

I was driving myself crazy, for days on end, sitting there, thinking about all the things I could have done better, all the ways I could have shown her how much I loved her.

All the questions I still had.

How I never did ask her what the name of that perfume was that she wore when I was little.
How we never did have another laugh about the night we got really drunk together on dirty Ketel One martinis, and our hotel caught on fire, and my mom rescued us, and then promptly got us literally set up and sampled out IN the fire truck, in our bathrobes, because as Mom put it - when disaster strikes, love has a funny way of finding us (side note - even though both of us were single at that time, neither of us got ANY firemen’s phone numbers)…

I sat there and I thought about how quickly life passes us by.

How it seemed like yesterday that I was three, and my mom and I were flying around the windy back roads of Newbury, MA, in her old Monte Carlo, listening to Fleetwood Mac, on our way to get an ice cream cone at Hodgies.

How fast it slipped away.

And so finally, someone handed me this book, and I had something to look at to keep me from going crazy.

And the words in that book changed my life forever.

What I learned from that book, was what carried me through a week later when my mom’s heart stopped beating through the other end of the stethoscope that the hospice nurse gave me.

It’s what gave me the strength to pack up my mother’s belongings, to stand tall at her wake, and to make the journey back to California to start my life back up again.

It was around that time that I started to give myself permission to feel.

I allowed myself to feel the pain, the grief, the despair, of losing my best friend.

I allowed myself to feel the gaping hole in my heart.

I allowed myself to show up in support groups and cry to complete strangers, while they rubbed my back and wiped my tears away.

I faced my grief, again and again, albeit sometimes very reluctantly.

But I did it.

*****************

I’ve noticed since I’ve become a mindset coach, that my desire to stuff my feelings has come front and center again. We can tend to label anger, fear, sadness and doubt as BAD and Something That We Must Shift Quickly.

And so I’ve noticed in the past few months, that deep, yet subtle buzz of Unexpressed Emotion, just sort of hanging out under the surface, like a radio that you didn’t even fully realize was on.

And I’ve been stuffing my feelings in particular with one of my closest relationships, and this morning, mid-argument, I fucking lost it.

We were deep in the throes of this complete upheaval of he said, she said blah blah blah, when I felt the dam breaking, and all of a sudden, this complete rage came over me, and I couldn’t even control my body anymore and I heard my voice raise to an octave I never even knew existed and I started YELLING.

I wasn’t consciously creating the words that were coming out of my mouth and I couldn’t stop my voice from shrilling and warbling.

It was intense.

And I felt this energy rising that felt too big, too fiery, uncontrollable and I heard my conscious, rational mind say - Kelly, calm the fuck down” - and then I heard this other voice say - NO! Do NOT calm down! It’s time to FEEL THIS SHIT AND RAGE IT OUT SISTER!!!

I immediately, without even thinking, grabbed a pillow from the couch, ran into my bedroom, put the pillow on the bed, and began beating the shit out of it.

I punched that pillow harder than any punching bag I’ve ever hit, and even harder than my friend’s face that time I tried to steal her car keys away from her when she was drunk on tequila and we got into a fist fight over it (that’s another blog post - but yeah, definitely do NOT try to drink and drive under MY watch or you you’ll get two shiners for that, can I get an AMEN?!) ;)

The funny part about this, is that if I had ONLY grabbed the super SOFT, big, FLUFFY pillows that were already ON the bed, rather than grabbing the decorative pillow from the couch, my right arm wouldn’t feel like it’s broken at this point…but anyways….

I punched that pillow as hard as I could for a solid thirty seconds and then what happened next was miraculous.

The anger lifted, and, I felt myself calm down, and then I shortly burst into tears.

I felt raw.
I felt vulnerable.

I FELT SADNESS.

From that heart space, I was able to then communicate with said person I was having an argument with, and share my feelings in an open, authentic, vulnerable way, which of course, then led us to being able to have a conversation that eventually led to us cleaning up this little issue and moving the fuck on with our day.

You gotta feel that shit.

Repressed emotion is dangerous.
It’s unhealthy.
It leads to violence.
It leads to illness.
It leads to unhappiness.
It leads to stifled expression.

Amongst other things.

So, yeah.

I punched a pillow and I liked it.

What emotion do YOU need to express today?

******************

Reminder that there are only THREE spots left for my private coaching at my current rate before the price goes up, up, UP! Send me a PM if you’d like to know more.

xx

**YOU REALIZE YOU’RE ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND DO THE WORK RIGHT?**

Before I get into the meat of this post, I want to let YOU know, that while this may sounds judgy and ranty, I’m saying this to myself as much as I’m saying it to YOU, because we all need a straight up shot of no-BS, non-sugar-coated TRUTH once in awhile, yeah?

 

Even if I wasn’t saying it to myself, too, I’d STILL be saying it to you, why?

 

Because I’m not afraid to say the thing that you ACTUALLY need to hear, that most people don’t want to say to you, because they don’t want to hurt your feelings and look “mean.”

 

Alrighty, so let the loving smackdown begin.

 

I see SO MANY PEOPLE who SAY they want this thing (the “thing” today being defined as a rock solid business that is impacting millions, making millions and allows them to live out their full truth and purpose).  There are a SHIT TON of us online, with this collective vision of building a personal brand and an empire.

 

And I would say, that of ALL these people, that really only about 5% of them are ACTUALLY doing the work.

 

Like, really doing it.

 

Which is fine.

 

Because really, most people are not going to make it in this industry anyways.

 

Not because they don’t have what it takes.

 

But because they aren’t willing to actually DO the work, and to keep their head in the game when the going gets rough (which it inevitably will, more times than one, over and over, at each new level).

 

Like I said, not for everyone.

 

I went down a rabbit hole on YouTube yesterday watching videos about Ayahuasca and watching people go through their deepest fears and losing their mind and going to proverbial hell and back, and it got me to thinking.

 

Most people are not willing to go through their darkest night, EVEN IF it means they are almost guaranteed to have a beautiful transformation and to release and heal shit that has been weighing them down for DECADES.

 

And most entrepreneurs are not willing to face THEIR deepest fears and demons and all the sludge and shit and full on MADNESS that inevitably comes with the journey.

 

Even if they were told - hey, 99% chance if you stick with it and continue to face your fears and do the work, you’ll get to have everything you want - still, they give up.

 

But actually, this post wasn’t even meant for THAT level of the conversation, it was actually just about you SAYING that you want one thing, and then showing through your actions, that you don’t.

 

I can’t tell you how completely shocked I am when I talk to someone who has been working on their business and they tell me they want it all and they want it all now but they’re stuck and nothing’s happening.  They tell me they are starting to question everything and are wondering if they should just go back to a “normal job.”

 

And so I ask - well, what’s your mindset practice look like?

 

I don’t have one.

 

How often are you showing up on social media and sharing your message?

 

Ummmm….maybe like once a week?

 

What free content are you putting out there?

 

None.

 

What are you selling?

 

Nothing.

 

Then what the actual fuck are you DOING every single day??

 

I realize that some of the time this is legitimately because they have yet to find a mentor (whether someone they follow online or a paid mentorship) that teaches them all of this, but at the same time - really?  How could you have not already??

 

But usually, it just boils down to this.

 

They just aren’t doing the work.

 

Plain and simple.

 

Now I could get all victim-y about this and blame it on the teachings of Abraham and say (insert whiny voice here) - “Well, you know, there are just SO MANY coaches online that are leading people astray and telling you just to think yourself successful” - and on THAT, I call BULLSHIT.

 

Take responsiblility for your own life.

 

Take responsibility for your own path.

 

If nothing is happening for you in your business, that’s on YOU.

 

But that’s just how I feel about THAT ;)

 

Anyways, moving on.

 

When are you going to quite your complaining and actually do the work?

 

It’s not that hard, you know.

 

It’s way harder to sit around and feel stuck and miserable and like you don’t know if you can make it in the online world.

 

And if you don’t know what the work “is”, start following people (hey!  I’m right here!) and listening to people who are giving you content for FREE and telling you how to do it.  Right??

 

Again, It comes back down to that responsibility piece.

 

I was raised in a household, where we worked our asses off.  My parents worked really hard (multiple jobs for each), just to put food on the table.

 

Did I pick up some limiting beliefs from my childhood around money?  HELLS YES.  Main culprit being “You can’t make money unless you’re working really hard.”

 

But you know what I did learn from that that I will take with me to my grave?

 

If you want something.  If you TRULY want it, it’s up to YOU to go get it.  If you really want something, you have everything you need to go make it happen.  Even if it seems impossible.  Even if circumstances don’t seem to be lining up for you like they do for Sally Sue.  It doesn’t matter.  No excuses.  You’ve got to make it your mission to go get that shit.”

 

It doesn’t mean you have to work yourself to the bone.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t receive with ease.

 

But it DOES Mean that you MUST take full ownership of your desires and take full responsibility for your part in the process.

 

Meaning, DO THE FUCKING WORK.

 

The inner and the outer.

 

You’re doing all the work and you’re still hit with a blind spot and you aren’t sure what’s up and how to break free of it.

 

I TOTALLY get that.  I can help you with that.  I LOVE helping people with that.

 

But you want to sit around all day and make excuses about everything, and blame it on everyone and everything else EXCEPT for your own lack of commitment and willingness to do what it takes.

 

And listen, if you know this is you, it doesn’t make you “bad” or “not cut out for it”, but you DO have a choice right here, right now, whether you want to take responsibility for that shit and turn it around, or continue to show up in this way, and pretty much ensure NOT creating a life and business of your own design.

 

Right??

 

So if you ARE calling yourself out right now for your BS, and/or you are someone who really WANTS to do the work, but doesn’t really get what the work IS, then you are going to want to secure your spot in my upcoming workshop on Monday.

 

“Rapid Business Growth - What to Focus on Daily to Start Seeing Faster Results!” - happening Monday, October 30th at 4pm EST!!

 

Save your spot here: http://bit.ly/2y3iPat

 

If you’re over running around like a chicken with your head cut off, and actually want to make some MOVES in your business, and see RESULTS, this is the workshop for you.

 

Join us: http://bit.ly/2y3iPat

 

Stop sitting around.

 

Your time is now.

**SOMEONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO SCRAPE ME OFF THE CEILING**

**SOMEONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO SCRAPE ME OFF THE CEILING**

Because I am feeling next levels of high vibe, y’all.

Let me break down some of the inner work I have been doing in the past week (but really the past months/years/decade that seems to all have been leading up to this moment)….so that you can take a look for yourself and pull out that which you actually may need to do for your OWN life and business, to quantum leap your results and step into the next level version of yourself.

Phewwww….

Ready?

I made a commitment to myself last week, that feels bigger than ALL the other commitments I have made to self, maybe ever, but specifically since the last Really Big commitment I made to myself back in 2015 that resulted in me having my first five figure month (30K actually)….

I realized that I was at a crossroads.

I could either continue to stay inside of my comfort zone and *pretend* that I wasn’t cut from the same cloth as all the high level entrepreneurs I follow and learn from.

Or, I could get over myself enough to OWN my power and step fully in and really, (like, REALLY) go for this thing.

It’s easy, as an entrepreneur to find a comfy nook, and hang out there for a bit, right?

You’ve got great clients.
You love what you do.
You wear your favorite sweatpants SO MUCH MORE than you got to when you worked a 9 to 5.
And yeah, you even make great money too.

You have the freedom to travel when and where you want.
You have a following.

Things are looking pretty peachy right?

Except, that you know deep down, that you want MORE and you want it NOW.

And regardless of whether or not you shame yourself from the desire to want more (which by the way, if you do, CUT THAT SHIT OUT, because it is HEALTHY to always be seeking more and expanding, and actually is natural law. The flower doesn’t say, oh you know what, we’ve grown too much, let’s actually halt here. We don’t want to get too pretty. The other flowers might get jealous…Anyways, I digress….)

So whether you make yourself feel like shit about it or not, you still want more.

You know you want to go bigger.

You love making your 5K, 10K, hell, 50K a month, but you know you want a multi million dollar empire.
You love what you are teaching and how you are showing up, but you know that you aren’t FULLY going all in, right?

You’re playing small.
Shying away.
Dimming your light.

And you can afford to!!

You’ve got it pretty good.

But listen, it’s almost more painful to be thisclose and not be FULLY going all in, than it is to be SO FAR AWAY and seeing that wide gap that you want to close.

You feeling me??

So, listen up.

I’m going to give you Manifestation 101 tip right here.

The quickest way to get to any result.
The most surefire way to transform anything, practically overnight.

Is this.

First of all, decide that you are going to.

Don’t just talk about it and hope for it and pray for it, and wrestle with God about it.

Just fucking decide.

And through your decision, know that it is done.

You don’t have to know how.
But you do have to commit.

Then, and ONLY then….

You ready?

You actually just start BEING that person with that result, NOW.

I KNOW how oversimplified and ridiculous this can sound, but you HAVE to believe me when I tell you, that THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE.

And it’s done quickly.

It’s collapsing parallel realities.

The version of you that has the kind of results you desire is already here.

And she’s available to you on a different vibrational plane.

So in order to connect with her, to melt into her, to merge with her, you’ve got to do the “work” of ALIGNING to her, NOW.

NOT WHEN THE FUCKING RESULTS SHOW UP.

That’s ass backwards, and anyone who has ever intentionally created an extraordinary life, anyone who has consciously practiced this alchemy, this manifestation, will tell you that everything began to change when they STOPPED WAITING FOR THE OUTSIDE RESULTS TO GIVE THEM PERMISSION TO BE A CERTAIN WAY, and just began the work of BEING THAT PERSON, first.

I really need you to understand this.

Because what you have to offer the world?

It fucking matters.

But you need to wrap your head around this, in order to move forward and UNLEASH in the way you were truly meant to and STEP IN and STEP UP and take over the world with your amazingness.

So, right now. Choose.

Choose to be her now.

The time is now.

There is nothing more you need to do, or prove, or learn, to just flip the switch and be her now.

You’ve got this.

**********************

If you want to dive more deeply into this concept with me, AND get down to the nitty gritty of some practical strategy shit too, to rapidly change your business results, QUICK, then you need to register now for my upcoming Rapid Results Workshop!

LIVE WORKSHOP!! “Rapid Business Growth - What to Focus on Daily to Start Seeing Faster Results!” - happening Monday, October 30th at 4pm EST!!

Save your spot here: http://bit.ly/2y3iPat

If you’re over running around like a chicken with your head cut off, and actually want to make some MOVES in your business, and see RESULTS, this is the workshop for you.

Join us: http://bit.ly/2y3iPat

**A CALL TO ALL LEADERS, HEALERS, TEACHERS, COACHES, WRITERS, ARTISTS, CREATIVES WHOSE PURPOSE IS TO HAVE A MASSIVE IMPACT ON THE WORLD**

I’m going to say this flat out because we actually don’t have any more time to beat around the bush.

 

The time is now.

 

For you to step up.

For you to share your message.

For you to inspire.

For you to create.

For you to lean in.

For you to impact.

 

I woke up this morning to the horrific news about what went down in Las Vegas last night and immediately felt like I was losing a battle.  Like we are.

 

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am COMMITTED to continuing to focus on the light.

 

Always.

 

It is my FIRM belief, and truth, and knowing, and value system that fighting darkness with darkness, creates more darkness.

 

Fighting anger and hatred, with more anger and hatred, perpetuates the problem.

 

I’ve gotten massive pushback for this in the past year, being told I have “head in the sand”, and honestly?

 

You are allowed your opinion of course.

 

But I will ALWAYS live my life this way.

To do otherwise, would be to go against my belief system and my truth, and therefore, highly out of integrity for me.

 

This post isn’t about that, really, but I am bringing it up for this.

 

I know I am not alone in my stance.

 

I know that there are millions of other lightworkers, healers, leaders, creatives, artists, messengers, who are also committed to staying in love and light, NO MATTER WHAT.

 

But here’s where I am going with this, and please hear me.  You can’t afford not to hear this if you know that I am speaking directly to you.

 

I went for my run this morning, and found myself bawling.

 

At first, they were tears of sadness and grief.

 

I am a full on empath, and so when the world grieves, when communities grieve, I can feel it, deep in my heart.

 

I was imagining and wondering how many of the houses that I ran by, if there were people inside that house at that very moment, who were hearing the news of a loved one who was injured last night.

 

I was imagining and feeling the pain in their bodies as they took in the news.

 

And then I rounded a corner to pass this house that I always admire because of their super cute Austin-like, farm to table, HGTV-esque beautifully designed house and yard.

 

And I saw a young man, maybe late thirties, walking out to the sidewalk with something in his hand.

 

As I got closer, I saw that he had seeds in his hand.

 

And as he bent down to place them into the hole he had already dug, he looked up at me and he smiled.

 

My first thought was “he doesn’t know yet what happened last night”.

 

And the second thought that came over me was how much hope and love and light I saw in his eyes.

 

And the third thought was that he DID see the news, and that’s why he was outside planting seeds.

 

He was responding with love.

 

Now, I’m not sure what this guy’s deal was, whether he watched the news or not, or what inspired the seeds, and really it doesn’t matter.  What DOES matter is the thought process that his smile activated in me.

 

Which was this.

 

Y’all.

 

Don’t you see the reality of the world we live in right now?

 

We are at a crossroads.

 

2017 has been absolutely INSANE.  So many things have been happening, hurricanes, shootings, walls being built, crazy next level fucking insane shit.

 

We can’t ignore it obviously.

 

And at the same time, there is a large portion of the population who is waking up, who are stepping up, who are leaning even MORE heavily into love and light.

 

The human population is becoming completely polarized.

 

It’s heavy.

It’s painful.

It’s scary.

 

And it’s also necessary.

 

My 81 year old grandmother asked me yesterday if I was going to bring children into this world with all the craziness that was going on.

 

I was a little taken aback by this question.  And also completely understood why she was asking me that.

 

And the answer is OF COURSE I am going to being children into this world.  Because I fully believe that every child is a chance, every child is a seed.  Every child comes in in purity, in love, in grace.  And if you teach that child what she needs to know to move forward and have a huge impact on the world in a really big way (or even a small way!), that you have given a HUGE gift to humanity.

 

So back to the State Of The World We Live In.

 

Yes, it’s crazy.

Yes, it’s next level insanity.

Yes, people are losing it.

Yes, tensions are at an all time high.

 

So here is what I have to say about it.

 

I do NOT believe that the world is a bad place.

I do NOT believe the apocalypse is coming.

I do NOT believe that things are hopeless.

 

I believe that all of this is happening BECAUSE we are expanding into a next level of consciousness.  I believe the process has been, is and will be a long one.

 

I believe that it is not pretty, and that many lives will be lost.  And I in NO WAY am dismissing the immense grief, pain and sadness that takes place because of ALL OF THIS. Absolutely not.  No way.

 

I’m saying that I have faith.

 

Part of this, is because I am deeply immersed in a world where powerful, creative people are committed DAILY to changing the lives of those around them for helping them heal, showing them how to step into their greatness, how to unleash their art, how to share their message.

 

I SEE what is going on underneath all of this insanity and chaos.

 

And I believe in the power of this light.

 

But here’s the thing.

 

Lightworkers. Leaders. Coaches. Healers. Authors.  Speakers.

 

It has never been MORE DIRE for you to stand the fuck up and UNLEASH.

 

The world literally cannot afford anymore for you to play small.

 

For every one person owning their full power and stepping into their impact, their are 1000 people behind them who are afraid, who are playing small, and who are trying to hide from theirown power and light.

 

YOU HAVE TO STEP UP AND GO ALL IN.

 

Yes, YOU.

 

I’m talking to you.

 

It no longer matters:

If you fail.

If people make fun of you,

If no one buys.

If your mom tells you to tone it down on Facebook.

 

CAN’T YOU SEE THAT YOU ARE NEEDED????

 

It is your divine RIGHT and RESPONSIBILITY on this planet, and it has never been more NEEDED than RIGHT NOW.

 

This is your time.

This is the time.

 

You are needed.

 

I want to get a commitment statement from every single person who reads this who is done playing small, and who knows that they have light to shine, and a message to share who is ABSOLUTELY 100% COMMITTED to living in that light and sharing it and stepping up, and KNOWING that their work is needed in the world.

 

I’m not just talking to those of you who are entrepreneurs and creatives playing at a high level.

 

I’m talking to ALL of you who are committed to leading from love and light.  It may be in motherhood.  It may be volunteering at the animal shelter and helping to save lives there. It may be through working with disabled children.

 

Whatever you do, however you do it, I need you to lean in and commit.

 

If you’re hiding, we need you to come out.

If you’re being shy, we need you to SPEAK.

If you’re not creating that art, or writing that book, or saying that THING, that you KNOW will have an impact, at this point?

 

You’re being selfish.

 

THE WORLD NEEDS US.

 

So I want to make this viral.  I want thousands of people COMMITTING to unleashing their light, their love, their message, their art, their impact, in the face of this massive upheaval we are experiencing.

 

In order to turn it all around.

In order to birth the next evolution.

In order to heal.

 

People are hurting.

Families are grieving.

 

There is no better time than now.

 

So if you are one of us who is 1000% committed to unleashing, to leaning into the impact you are here to make, and you can see the severity of it, and you can see how important it is that you do so, then I want you to comment below with your commitment statement.

 

And then I want you to actually step in and unleash.

 

The world needs us.

 

Commit to the impact you are here to make.

 

So I want you to do two things.

 

First, comment below with your commitment statement.  What do you now commit to unleashing in the world, in the face of all this chaos, and in order to bring more light into the darkness?

 

Secondly, share this post on your page with your community.  Let’s get as many people as possible feeling the depths of how crucial it is for them to step in and lead.  Each and everyone of us is important.  Every person creates a ripple effect.  Do not underestimate your own power.

 

Take care of your heart.  Take care of your soul.

Cry.

Grieve.

And let it just fuel your purpose.

Let it inspire you to commit even more fully to your vision.

 

All my love,

Kelly

**IF YOU JUST ALLOWED YOURSELF TO STAY THE PATH**

I had a little bit of a hard time this morning getting into my morning journaling work and even into sitting down to write this blog.

 

The reason being, that I hadn’t done either since Thursday.  THURSDAY Y’ALL!

 

It’s Sunday.

 

Man, oh man, can I feel just even the two days that I fell off the wagon.

 

On Friday morning, my boyfriend went in for surgery at 6am (nothing crazy, just a knee repair), and we were on about three hours of sleep and then I got to talking in the waiting room where I was planning on doing my morning routine, and then got home at 11am and was so exhausted, I ended up sleeping pretty much for the entire rest of the day.

 

And then Saturday morning woke up and just didn’t feel like it.

 

YIKES.

 

So, obviously calling myself out here because I tell ALL my clients and ANYONE who has ever signed up for ANY of my courses knows how much of a slave driver I am about daily mindset work.  

 

So…..yeah……

 

But I’m calling myself out today to show you something interesting.

 

Because last week, I was experiencing some incredible results in my business, due to my ongoing CONSISTENCY.

 

Incredible community growth and engagement.

Even more emails in my inbox sharing the impact of my message.

Lots of polarization as well, which sucks, but is always evident of growth and alignment.

 

So isn’t it interesting that when we find ourselves expanding at a rapid rate, that we always find a way to slow it down?

 

It’s called self sabotage babyyyyy!!!!

 

Yup, that’s right.

 

Because the reality is this: I could have EASILY made time to stay on track with my mindset and messaging BOTH on Friday and Saturday.

 

Easily.

 

But I chose not to.

 

Now I can sit here and blame it on waiting room conversation, or the fact that being back in the hospital for the first time since my mom passed really triggered my grief shit, or that I was tired, or that I just couldn’t seem to muster up the energy to do any of it.

 

But really?

 

That's a bunch of bullshit.

 

Because you always get to choose.

 

And you can always choose DESPITE your circumstances.

 

And when you find yourself going full throttle and seeing the manifestation of your efforts, your consistency, and your alignment, and then you see yourself pulling back, making up excuses, manifesting high levels of fatigue and sadness, DON’T YOU SEE?

 

Your survival mechanism is doing everything it can to keep you in safety.  In your comfort zone.

 

Small, where you belong, with the rest of the world.

 

Which is total BS, mind you.

 

You weren’t put here to play small, to give into “I don’t feel like it”, to let yourself get consumed with sometrhing, when there is purpose work to be done.

 

I’m not saying don’t rest, and burn yourself out, and don’t take some time to process your grief.

 

I AM saying that if that’s what you gotta do, then even more reason to prioritize what matters, and make sure you give that everything you’ve got AS WELL.

 

We had an interesting conversation about this in my Stop, Drop and Journal course where we talked about creating through chaos and how it is completely possible to continue to prioritize your soul work even when you are going through hell in your personal life, your house burnt down, you found out your partner cheated on you, you’ve got the flu, whatever.  

 

It’s not an either/or situation.

 

You get to rest and heal AND create and follow your passion.

 

All at the same time.

 

Mind blowing concept huh?

 

And actually, in you staying consistent with the stuff that REALLY matters, that stuff that feeds your heart and soul and makes you feel like time stands still and that THIS is what you were put here to do?

 

When you stay consistent with that NO MATTER WHAT is going on around you?

The stuff going on around you is MUCH easier to deal with.

 

Make sense?

 

Stay consistent.

Do you (purpose) work.

Keep showing up.

And when shit starts to blow up (in a good way), and the results you’ve been wanting for months and years start to show up and actually begin to (oh my god!) HAPPEN??

 

LEAN INTO THAT SHIT.  

 

Keep going.

Keep being consistent.

Keep going.

 

Today is October 1st.  Make this the month that you stay consistent with what matters.  

 

PS: I’ve got spots open for new private clients so make sure to send me a PM for more details if you’ve been flirting with the idea of working with me. 

 

I help my clients get into massive alignment so they can ramp up their businesses from the core of what FEELS good, not what they think they SHOULD be doing and creating.  We focus on mindset first and foremost, and then put strategies in place that are unique to YOU.

 

If it’s speaking to you, message me now.

 

NOW GO BE CONSISTENT.

**WHEN PEOPLE WANT TO TEAR YOU DOWN AND TALK SHIT ABOUT YOUR MESSAGE, YOUR PATH, AND YOUR DREAMS**

I just caught wind tonight that someone I considered to be a friend, has been talking trash about my social media posts.

Let’s get something straight off the bat:

I am a messenger. A leader. A writer. A coach.

It is my JOB to get on social media every day, share my truth, and inspire my community.

Most of you are following me on social media, because you resonate with that message, you feel the impact of my work, and you get it.

A lot of you REALLY get it. Like, messaging me daily telling me I’m inside your head and you feel like I am speaking to you DIRECTLY.

Then there are some of you who don’t get it, but are open to what I’m sharing, are curious, and are inspired by what you are hearing and reading.

But then there seem to be a small handful of people who DO NOT GET IT AT ALL, and actually have the audacity to trash talk, and then still pretend to be my friend and support me.

Why not just unfollow?
Why spend your time even pretending?

Now, as a coach who prides herself on excellence and mastery of all things personal development (because, again, that is my JOB, to those of you are confused)…, I take full responsibility for every single thing in my life.

Meaning…

Shame on me for letting people who aren’t FULLY aligned, 1000% hells yes, into my life.

Because you always know right away, don’t you?

And to be clear, the amazingly wonderful part about all of this is that I am finally in a place in my life where I am FULLY standing in my power, and so confident in what I do, and who I am, that their blatant disrespect?

I could care less about it.

Because I believe in my message and I stand behind every single word I write.

I know how much truth is infused into every single word I put down on paper.
I know that this is my calling, my true soul purpose.
I know that I was put here on this planet to do AMAZING things and have a really big impact.

And really, in all reality, the people who get triggered by other people standing in their power? Well, any self aware person knows that that is simply a reflection of their own insecurities and self doubts.

So I had a choice tonight.

I could let the naysayers defeat me.
I could shy away from my light and my message, as to not have any other hurtful words said behind my back,
To avoid pain.
To avoid disappointment.
To avoid doubt.

I could punch my pillow.
I could drink copious amounts of tequila shots at the bar.
I could spend my time voice texting every single one of my biz besties to get their input on it.

Or, I could use that fuel to make my fire burn even brighter.
To get even MORE loud and bold with my message.
To use THIS example as a teaching point for YOU - The Ones Who Are Actually Listening.

Yes, I feel hurt.
Yes, I feel betrayed.

And so the question I now get to ask myself is - How can I be responsible for this?
How can I see this as a reflection for me to look at?

Well —- let’s be honest.

I haven’t been tuning into my OWN gut and intuition lately about a couple of relationships that I have that don’t feel like a 100% hells yes, soul aligned, type of connection.

I’ve been giving my time and energy to people that don’t fully understand or support my vision.

I’ve been giving my time and energy to people that don’t share the same values as me.

And I continued to go there.
I continued to hang out in that wishy washy space.

Even THOUGH I KNEW on a conscious level, that I was making misaligned choices about where I was spending my energy.

I continued to stay inside the comfort of just “going along with the flow” so as not to avoid conflict.

I essentially, was not standing in my power around what I was and was not available for.

And so it was only a matter of time.

So here is the lesson for you.

There are seven billion people on the planet (roughly).

SEVEN BILLION.

Don’t be afraid to walk away.

Not the second time.
Not the third time.

But the EXACT moment you realize that you’re not one of them, and they aren’t one of you.

You can hope they’ll get it.
You can try to explain it to them.
You can ram it down their throats.
You can hope that if you just - shine - your - light - BRIGHTER, that they will come around.

And you’ll be wasting your time.

Because, then, my friend, you are officially living your life for someone else.

And your life is for YOU.

You DESERVE to speak your truth.
You DESERVE to get mega amped up about what you believe in.
You DESERVE to follow your dreams.

Surround yourself with people who GET that, FULLY.

And the ones that don’t?

Let them go.

PS: I am also feeling called to say that the more I go down this magical journey of entrepreneurialism, the more unfuckwithable I become.

I made a commitment to say EXACTLY how I feel and what I think and not to ever again worry about being TOO bold, TOO loud, TOO crazy, TOO spiritual, TOO inspirational, TOO vulnerable, TOO confident, or really TOO MUCH of anything.

I refuse to back down.

So haters? Bring it on.
Trash talkers? Bring it on.

You will only make me LOUDER.

Nothing will stop me from sharing my message and living my truth.

Relax! No one said it was going to be easy.

Relax!  No one said it was going to be easy.

Or maybe they did and you fell into the trap/lie/myth of thinking that your biggest and wildest dreams were just going to float on over to your fingertips as you decided you wanted them, for real, this time.

 

Seriously, did you think it was going to be THAT easy?

 

Wouldn’t you already have the thing, if it were so?

 

I was talking to my coach last night, in a little bit of a funk, and being just slightly boo-hoo-y, and actually honestly, sounding perhaps a little bit like a spoiled brat.

 

Oh, WHOA IS ME, I get to create a life and a business of my own design.

I get to have time and money freedom.

I get to travel the world in luxury.

I get to build a business from my sweatpants from my couch mid-snuggles with my dog, or from an airport lounge in my favorite high vibe outfit, with a glass of Sancerre in hand.

 

Seriously, life is sooooo hard.

 

Haha, ok but anyways - back to my point.

 

Did you seriously think it was going to be easy?

 

Why do you act surprised when you hit a wall, an obstacle, a “problem” (which you KNOW are just opportunities anyways).

 

Did you think it was going to be easy, overnight, instantaneous to create a seven figure business with tens of thousands of dollars and programs flying off the shelves and a routine spot in Entrepreneur Magazine??

 

And although it’s tempting to be all victimized and blame it on “all the coaches” who are posting about their fabulous lifestyles and only showing the glittery shit and yada yada, PLEASE - spare me the whoa is me, let me be victimized by everyone else’s process and how they show up online and let me make it about THEM, instead of actually just taking responsibility for ME, because THAT’S actually what they’ve been doing that I’ve been unwilling to do which HAS them flying around the world first class sipping on Dom Perignon.

 

RIGHT??

 

Anyways, I digress.  (Nothing gets me more heated than when you, YES YOU! - waste your time bitching about how Everyone Else is doing it - Number one rule of success - STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE, EYES ON YOUR OWN PAPER)…And play nice while you’re at it, yeah??

 

So back to this idea that you think creating your wildest dreams was supposed to come easy, and freely and go off without a hinge.

 

I’m sorry.

I know you’re frustrated that its not that way.

I am too, sometimes.

 

But the longer you spend moping around, kicking rocks, cursing your lot, and feeling SORRY for yourself??

 

The more time you waste:

-Being hard on yourself

-Not creating your soul’s work

-Being stuck in victim mentality

-Adding stress to your nervous system

-And just NOT in any way, shape, or form, being magnetic to your soulmate tribe!!

 

Can you find it in yourself to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, aknowledge to yourself that this is actually just what it looks like, realizes you’re not special, and get the fuck on with it (this process of creating your dream life?!)

 

Listen, the only reason I say this to you is because well, A, you need to hear it, but because B?

 

I was pulling this shit yesterday too.

 

I was talking to my mentor who makes MULTIPLE seven figures a year in her business, is online famous, THE leading mentor for online badasses, and who walks her talk like no one else I’ve ever seen online.

 

Hearing her remind me that this is just part of the process and that at EVERY level, you will have doubt and fear and the only thing that will ensure your success, is that you keep going, sort of smacked me back to reality.

 

Ohhhh…..duh.

 

I’m not saying that creating your dream business is all about struggle and strife.  

Not at all.

 

But if you REALLY mean it, and you’re REALLY following your purpose work, and you’re REALLY going after what you REALLY want?

 

Well?

 

You’re going to have to drive up to the surface, and heal, and release, ALL THE THINGS that were initially in the way of you creating that to begin with.

 

You’re going to have to develop habits of consistency.

 

You’re going to have to actually learn some business basics of what the actual fuck to DO online.

 

You’re going to have to build confidence, strength, determination, grit, resilience, passion, fervor, and humility.

 

You’re going to have to clean up all of your wacky ass scarcity shit and heal your relationship with money.

 

You’re going to have to learn how to love and accept yourself.

 

You’re going to have to learn how to BE yourself.

 

You’re going to have to learn how to SHINE YOUR LIGHT.

 

So…ermmmm….yeahhhh…..not for the faint of heart.

 

That’s why most people who want to build an online empire…don’t.

 

They perhaps weren’t aware of what it would take and got a few months/years in and were like holy shit, I can’t handle this.

 

Or they knew it, and they got into the thick of it, and just couldn’t hang.

 

It takes sheer determination and commitment to walk the plank when it’s tough.  Especially when it’s tough, month after month, year after year.

 

But if you want it bad enough, you’ll just keep going.

 

And that’s how success is born.

 

Just keep going.

 

*********

 

We wrapped up Stop, Drop and Journal (the live version), almost two weeks ago, and are currently packaging it into a self study course, which will be available within the next couple of weeks!  

 

This is a 21 day online course with daily journaling prompts to help you develop the CONSISTENCY and the HABIT of your journaling practice, which if you’ve been following me for more than five seconds, you know has helped ME personally to create a life and a business of my own design, with intention.  Besides journaling though, we go deep into the process of being responsible for your reality, and how to create your results using your mindset.

 

If you want to be notified when it re-opens and receive a special discount, just let us know in the comments and we’ll be in touch soon!

Red Cosmic Moon and High Level Manifestation

One of these days, you will come face to face with your true innate power and magic.

What will you choose to do with that?

I’ve written about it here and there in the past week, but have still been unable (yet) to full put into words the experience that I just had in Tulum.

There was the surface level experience, of being in a tropical place, on my man’s birthday, of soaking up the sun, and eating delicious ceviche and drinking fresh squeezed passionfruit/pineapple juice, and meeting cool Mayan locals.

And there was also this entire different, more deeply woven experience, that was very personal, that affected me on a deep, cellular level, that had nothing to do with anyone or anything else except for me, and my dreams, and my own beating heart.

It was next level nuts and crazy and scary and beautiful and ecstasy and bliss like I never knew it.

I’ve shared a little bit here and there, and lifted the curtain a little bit yesterday to my mastermind ladies, but have yet to even vocally try to explain it to my closest friends and loved ones.

Because I don’t know what to say.

It’s one of the few times in my life, that I have literally been at a loss for words.

Which sort of sucks as a writer, and that’s something I’m excited to explore more deeply too in my own writing, because I KNOW there is a book to come out of all of this, and I have no idea how to put into words, something that I still can’t even quite comprehend or grasp.

Did I just get wrapped up in the magic of it all?

It’s tempting to think so, but the more I reflect on it all, the more clearly the message keeps getting that seems to be coming straight from source like a dagger into my heart.

I AM AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING OF LIGHT WHO WAS PUT ON THIS WORLD TO CREATE MAGIC AND TEACH OTHERS HOW TO DO SO FOR THEMSELVES.

I’m not talking about pulling bunnies out of hats (although that does sound kind of fun!), but rather the magic that takes place when you hold a vision in your mind for DECADES (or days, or weeks, or months), and then you literally watch it unfold in front of your very eyes, as you gasp for air, and your heart beats rapidly in your chest, and you hear yourself saying “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” Over and over in your mind because it is TOO perfect.

Can you relate?

Have you had this experience?

It’s next level wackadoodle when it happens, and you might feel like you’re going crazy.

This is by no means the first time I’ve gotten a glimpse of my own innate power and creativity.

It’s happened many a times at festivals, on hikes, in moments of pure alignment, sometimes by accident, sometimes very much on purpose, often through journaling, and sometimes through just focusing on it long enough.

But it’s NEVER come on this full throttle, and executed with such perfection.

It was psychedelic.

It was like I was directing a symphony orchestra with my mind, and with each thought, I would instantly create a note out of thin air.

It was scary.

So, like I mentioned…STILL not sure exactly how to put this into words, but for now, let’s just say this:

I came FACE TO FACE with my true innate creative power, face to face with all that I really am, and all that YOU really are, and got to see EXACTLY what’s possible for us.

Most of us are all walking around like zombies, going through the daily motions of life, followingthe grooves in the pavement that have already been laid out, coloring in between the lines, doing what feels normal and expected, because honestly?  We’ve never been taught any other way.

MOST OF YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE.

You haven’t even begun to DREAM about what’s possible for you, what you can actually create with your mind, and just how important your big dreams and visions are, even and ESPECIALLY the ones that you may have deemed as a pipe dream.

You may catch on in this lifetime, if you get inspired by someone living this way and start to lean into the possibility that you can live this way too.  If you are ready.

And you might not.

And both are perfect.

Because you are always exactly where you need to be.  Always.

And for those of you who do, and you start practicing, and you start leaning in, and you start opening up, and you begin the process of getting aligned with who you truly are, the moment may come when you are face to face with the REAL view of just how powerful you are.

And what are you going to do?

Are you going to allow it to completely freak you out?  

Are you going to think you’re going insane and go run and hide?

Or are you going to relax into it.

To trust it.

To surrender to it.

To answer the call.

To practice allowing that that level of magic and bliss and OH MY GOD YES I CREATED THIS, to be your normal and just how you relate to yourself and your life?

On Day Four of Tulum, after I had already decided that I was going nuts and that I must be dreaming and man this is a LONG ASS dream, but let’s just roll with it…

I was sitting under my little beach cabana in front of Be Tulum, watching my man swim in the ocean, listening to the Future Sound of London so perfectly coming out of the speakers that were sitting above the restaurant and blasting out onto the beach.

And I put down my copy of “The Magician’s Way”, only to (ironically), look to my left, and see a man walking towards me in a wizard hat.

Now this guy looked straight out of Burning Man, and I couldn’t tell if he was a wise sage recycled many lifetimes to spread truth and light, or if he was a washed up homeless man who was going to try and trick me into giving him some pesos, but either way, as he got closer, I noticed how familiar he looked.

He walked straight up to me and smiled.

I, of course, had met him before.

Whether it was at some festival in some desert somewhere, or whether it was solely in my mind, we both recognized each other and smiled.

He said in perfect English, but with a definite Mayan/Mexican accent, “Would you like me to tell you who you are?”

(Inside my head, I was like YES PLEASE…PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT CRAZY, PLEASE HELP ME CENTER MYSELF)….And so I nodded.

He pulled out a card and he told me that he practices Mayan astrology and that if I told him my birthday, he would tell me who I am and why am I here.

He then proceeded to tell me that I am a Red Cosmic Moon and that I am one of the chosen ones who was put here to help the planetary transmission, to bring darkness into the light, and to raise the collective vibration of the planet, and to aid in the shift of consciousness.

I smiled gracefully, as I knew that. (Duhhhh…) ;)

And then he looked at me and he said to me something that really stuck - He said, “but just because that’s what you are here to do, does not mean you will do it.  Because what is being asked of you is scary.  You want to run and hide from your light, because your own power scares you.  There are many like you on this planet right now, but most of them are running and hiding.  They do not have what it takes.  I don’t know if you do or not.  Only you do.  You can continue to hide.  Or you can shine your light.  If you choose to shine it, the entire world will be transformed by you alone.”

I almost choked on my watermelon seed.

It was so perfectly timed, it was ridiculously uncanny.

I was already knee deep in being face to face with my power.  And then this guy shows up.

He told me some other insights that were useful for me to know, and then my man came up from the water and as the man in the wizard hat began to read him his astrology, I ran back to the room to get him some pesos for a tip.

When I came back, the wizard had morphed back into normalcy.  Him and my boyfriend were chatting about the waves, and the tourists, and normal day to day stuff, and it was like the things he had said to me about why I was here, were just a distant memory as he got back to his normal day to day routine of walking the shoreline in his wizard hat.

We saw that guy three (four?) more times while we were there.

What he said will never escape my mind, because it dawned on me.

It’s ONE thing to actuallyn have the experience of being schooled in just how powerful you actually are, to the degree that I experienced it in Tulum, but it’s another thing entirely to actually SHINE THAT LIGHT once you’ve seen it fully, and experienced the power of it firsthand.

Most will shut it down.

Most will hide it away.

Most will say the environment was just set up for magic.

Most will say it was all in their head.

Most will dismiss it as imaginative, wishful thinking, magical thinking, woo woo, om shanti, or anything else that tries to convince them that what they feel inside of them isn’t real.

Imagine if every single person who experienced their own sense of innate magic and power, actually gave themselves permission to tap into it?

The world would be instantly transformed.  Maybe even overnight.

If you resonate with what I am talking about, and you’re nodding your head voraciously at every word…I urge you.

PLEASE.

It is your duty.

It is your mission.

It is your purpose.

To not shy away from it.

But instead to lean into it, to surrender into it, to allow it all to fully submerge you and carry you into higher levels of love, alignment, leadership, connection, creativity, consciousness and LIFE.

The world needs you now more than ever.

*************

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking around the type of woman that I am calling in to my new Level Up Mastermind Program.  My experience in Tulum helped me nail it, as far as EXACTLY who this woman is.

She is the woman who has tears in her eyes reading this post, because not only can she relate, but she knows that she is shying away.  Her magic, her power, her bliss SCARES her.  She has already created some success in her life and business, things look pretty and tidy on the outside, people may even consider her to be an expert, but on the inside, she knows she isn’t fully unleashing the true magic of what’s inside of her.

You know what I am talking about.

I made a commitment in Tulum to myself, to not shy away anymore.

To choose, every day, to step DIRECTLY into my own light.  

Because it is my duty.  It is my purpose.  It is the exact reason why I was put here on this planet.

Yes, in running a business, we must focus on revenue, and growth, and serving our clients, and all of that, of course.

But when was the last time you prioritized bliss, creativity, alignment, magic, power, connection, and straight up, badass manifestation??

And created it all from THAT place?

That’s what Level Up is all about.

I’m taking four women to start.

PM me for details.

Trust that Your Desires are Real

Trust that your desires are real.

One of my mentors, Katrina Ruth, always says, “Trust that what you feel inside of you is real.”

I’ve always understood that on a surface level, but if I was honest with myself, I would always be thinking under my breath, what’s inside of me? My art? My passion? My feelings?

And yes, that is part of it.

But in the past 24 hours, I’ve gotten a heavy dose of total oh my god yes this is exactly what she was talking about, heavy hit to the brain type of revelation.

Since the beginning of time, (and let me see if I can actually put this properly into words), I have felt this pull to this “place”….I would see the place in my dreams, in my imaginations.

More importantly, I could feel the energy of this place living inside of me. Like it was imprinted and coded into my DNA at a cellular level.

It felt a part of me.
In a really ancient, timeless, esoteric sort of way.

I never talked about it to anyone.

And I silently craved finding it.

For years I thought I would find it. Because it really wasn’t a physical place I was searching for. It was more of a feeling, a “clicking in”, a vibrational plane, a state of being.

And yet at the same time, I also could CLEARLY see in my minds eye, this physical place.

For years.

I would search for the feeling, the experience, the realization of this place, both physical and energetic, in so many things outside of myself. Men, drugs, music, smells, literature.

I searched for a very long time.

******

In the past couple of months, I have been coming to terms with the realization that my hunger for that search was dying.

I felt like I stopped caring.
I felt like I had surrendered to actually giving up on ever “finding it”.

I found myself either completely shutting out the people that I loved, and when I DID let them in, it would be to tell them my plight.

How many conversations did I have with my boyfriend telling him that I was longing to integrate those parts of myself back again that I felt I had lost after my mom died, and I moved away from California, and started my journey as a coach.

But really, it was the craving I was missing.

The actual belief, trust, faith and complete obsession with finding this place that I knew to be true.

I had given up on my dream.

Because, REALLY?

My dreams are definitely about building an empire, traveling the world, having soulmate relationships, being a best selling author and having nice things.

But really? For me? The dream runs deeper than that.

It’s not about anything you can touch, taste, and feel, although that surely has a big part to play in it.

It’s about aligning with this “place” and finding the utopia, (for lack of a better word), that I have always been able to feel in my heart.

And so I started to lean into that again. I started to allow my mind to wander again.

********

Yesterday around 4pm, after a long and somewhat harrowing drive down a straight Mexican freeway that felt like it was never going to end, I found myself rounding a corner and beginning to submerge into the somewhat street jungle that is the beach road of Tulum.

I immediately felt this sense of YES, this feeling of being home, and quickly had this giant emotional hit of holy-shit-ness, when I realized something so insanely crazy that I almost couldn’t contain my emotion around it.

This place, that I had never been to, and that I only two months ago decided to come to, was exactly the place that I have been imagining, and dreaming, and craving, and feeling pulled to, for the past thirty years plus of my life.

This odd sense of panic actually came over me (and I have goosebumps writing this, although that could also being from the gust of wind that just rolled up from the ocean which just happens to be about thirty feet from where I am sitting writing this, glass of rose by my side)…but I was staring out the window of the van and had this sense of astonishment and almost said it out loud, but definitely thought it to myself - oh my god, I fucking created this place.

Anyone who has been to Tulum and has stayed beach side knows that there is one road that runs up and down the coast, where all the hotels are. You can’t actually SEE the ocean from the road (except for one spot, and also I have no idea about the north side, since we are staying on the south side and aren’t venturing north until tomorrow morning)…it feels like you are driving through the jungle.

But as I peered through the window of the van, my mouth hanging open in astonishment, we drove by shops, and restaurants, and juice bars and beautiful spas and the whole time I was just sitting here thinking OH MY GOD.

I’ve been here before.

Now while this is my first time visiting Tulum physically, I have been to this place hundreds if not thousands of times….

In my mind.

I recognized places. I know I had sat on these barstools before.

Now maybe it was another life time, maybe I did some weird time/space travel (those of you who are into that shit, feel free to educate me in the comments about it)…, or maybe I literally just see this in my mind first and actually begin to manifest the experience of actually being here physically, because I was so attracted to the energy of it.

Whatever happened, it has been a crazy past 24 hours for me, realizing, that now, I do in fact, understand exactly what my mentor has been saying this whole time.

When you see something in your mind’s eye, and you can taste it and you can smell it and you can hear it and you can feel it.

It’s fucking real.

You might not know at this time, where to find it, how to get there, or even what to make of it.

But if you can’t stop thinking about it, and it becomes this feeling, this pull, this craving, this sweet spot, whenever you think about it…then it certainly does exist out there for you.

And if you can allow yourself to be led there and trust that the Universe actually WANTS you to find it and that if you just relax a little bit and trust and keep your eyes locked in on that and keep FEELING it and keep imagining it, that someday, JUST SOMEDAY! You may find yourself there.

Without even trying to make it “the thing”.

Right?

How many times have you done that with a romantic relationship?

I was constantly trying to make each guy I dated that I felt a connection with - THE GUY.

Trying to control each experience.
Trying to make everything exactly what I wanted it to be.

Never surrendering.
Never trusting.

So I guess this whole post (and this whole experience of Tulum really!), is all about surrender.

Can you trust that the Universe will lead you directly into the epicenter of everything that you thought was literally just a place of ecstasy and exquisite bliss that you could only access in your mind?

Because it can.
And it will.

If you keep the faith and SURRENDER.

Last night, we were sitting at Ocumare, and the copal smoke was blowing into our faces, and the wine was fantastic, and the ambiance was perfect, and I knew I had been there before in my imagination.

And when we walked down the jungle road to make our way back to our cabana, and it started to rain and I clung to Ian when I almost stepped on a dead scorpion, and the sky was lighting up with the most beautiful lightning, all I could keep thinking was…

YES. IT’S REAL.

I’M HERE.

The sense of relief that comes from knowing that the pining wasn’t all for nothing and that I wasn’t crazy and that this place existed the whole time, is the most satiating feeling I could possibly tap into.

And I want to keep writing about this (and I will!), but it’s time for me to go join my man, who is down on the sand, who I am currently watching his chest rise and sink, as he takes a blissful nap under his little coconut tree set up.

It’s time to go dance with this place some more.

***WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE IN???***

***WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE IN???***

This question for you today is a serious one.

I invite you to answer it slowly, honestly, deeply, truly, and as if your life depends on it.

Because it does.

When are you going to give in?

When are you going to allow yourself to submerge your soul deeply into your absolute desires that you only sometimes allow yourself even a glimpse of?

When will you begin to live?

When will you say yes?

I have been doing some really deep inner exploration with my two mentors around giving myself FULL permission to step into the life I desire.

Not the life I THINK I should desire because it looks good on paper.

Because, honestly?

I have got THAT life dialed in: amazing partner, kick ass business, soulmate dog, soulmate friends, nice house, skinny body, money in the bank….

But I recognized in the past month, that that didn’t feel like enough…but not so much ENOUGH, but rather, not what I was initially looking for anyways…or at least, not all of it.

Because I had been chasing what I THOUGHT I wanted, and ignoring the deeper longing of my HEART + SOUL.

Which if I previously had looked too closely at, it was like staring straight into the sun.

Too big.
Too bright.
Too much.
Too risky.
Too scary.

And ironically, just in time, last week with the Solar Eclipse, and a house move, and a hurricane, AND a light activation session (mega deep energy healing) with one of my mentors, I found myself having a complete meltdown at my new office desk.
I start panicking.

My chest felt like it had 1000 elephants stepping on it.

I looked out the window of my perfectly decorated new office and I just thought to myself, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!
THIS ISN’T IT!!!!!

Of course, I love my boyfriend, my dog, my house, my business, my money, my body, AND my perfectly decorated office.

But I had this moment of pure fear, pure adrenaline, pure panic, pure GRIEF, actually, that if I didn’t get really fucking clear, and SOON, that this wasn't ALL of it, and that I need to actually be REALLY honest with myself about the depths of all that I crave to experience in this lifetime, that I would quickly begin the process of dying a long, slow, and painful soul death.

Can you relate?

I know you because I AM you.

Especially those of you with all your bells and whistles complete.

Your perfect relationship.
Your perfect body.
Your full bank account.

Everything looks so good on the outside, yeh?

And on the inside, you’re screaming.

I see you.
I know you.
I AM you.

So…I’ll ask you the question again?

When are you going to give in?
When are you going to say YES?

When are you going to get really privy to the fact that your life is actually happening RIGHT NOW, and the only way you are going to fully experience it, and live into your desires, is if YOU step in and claim it and go after it, and make whatever changes, take whatever actions needed, to start living into that?

It’s scary shit. I know.

But here’s another thing I know.

(Warning - this post is about to get real ---- quick.)

I will never forget the experience of watching my mother die.

Not just the night she died.

But the six months leading up to it.

The details of that are not for this post however. (I am, in fact, writing an entire book about it).

The message during that time was loud and clear.

LIFE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

When someone that you just assumed (even knowing the realities of being a human being and that we all eventually die) would be around forever, is literally fading right in front of you, you are faced with a very harsh reality.

THIS ISN’T GOING TO LAST FOREVER.

Life is happening RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

And so that grief I felt the other day mid-panic attack?

It was a heavy, deep grief…almost a shame…

Like, how DARE you live your life at 50% when you watched your mother’s life slip away before she was ready?

How the fuck DARE YOU not go all the way in??

You see, I made a promise to my mother, which I’m not even sure she heard, because she was so delirious from the morphine and the late stages of her life…I made a promise to her that I would NEVER EVER compromise my truth.

Who I am.

What I am here to do.

And so, as I sit here typing this, there are tears running down my cheeks, because that was a promise I never forgot.

I vowed to her to live my life to the fullest and to never back down from what I truly desired.

I owe it to her.

But more importantly, I owe it to myself.

So, AGAIN, I will ask you (and myself)…when are you going to give in?

When are you going to get really fucking honest about what it is that you are REALLY here to do, and see, and experience?

I can’t let you or myself get away with this bullshit any longer.

The bullshit of playing small.
Of not owning what we want.
Of ignoring our hearts and souls.
Of pretending we don’t get to have anything we want in this lifetime.

You owe it to yourself to go after what you want or die trying.

You see, my mom’s illness woke me up.

It was, perfectly placed in my life, as it was for hers as well.

Because we always get exactly what we need, to grow, to step forward.

Her cancer forced me to look at my own life.

It forced me to begin to grow.

It broke my heart into a million pieces over and over again.

It had me walking through years of crippling anxiety, fear, sadness, rage, and self-destruction.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This picture was taken in 2010, just one year before I was to move home to Massachusetts from California to take care of my mother in the last six months of her life.

Through my pain, through my heartache, I had begun to find myself.

I had begun to tap into who I was, what my desires were, what lit me up.

It was a beautiful thing.

And that’s just the way life is sometimes right? It takes a shit storm…sometimes heart wrenching loss, sometimes a complete rock bottom, to shake us at our roots and cause ourselves to look at ourselves honestly in the mirror, and make some pretty scary choices.

And this whole bit about me not truly owning what I am here to do and experience?

I just forgot for a minute.

The truth is, I will never forget that promise I made to my mother.

I have it tattooed on my left forearm, although somewhat cryptically, because I vowed to never forget.

And so…for me, and perhaps for you too….

It is time to give in.
It is time to surrender to the magic of life.
To the beauty.
To the splendor.
To the desire.
To experiencing it fully.
To aligning with our true nature…our true power.

No more shying away.
No more backing down.
No more settling.
No more denying what we TRULY want.
It’s time to give in.

***THE THING YOU ARE WAITING FOR ISN’T COMING***

***THE THING YOU ARE WAITING FOR ISN’T COMING***

What are you waiting for?

We are all waiting for something.

For the time to be right.
To have more money in our bank account.
To have a better structure.
To believe in oneself just a little bit more.

Most likely if you are waiting for the tide to change, whether ever so slightly or in a really big way, before you can get/have/be/do the thing you so desperately crave and desire, than really?

You’ll be waiting for ever.

Because the time will never be truly right.
The money won’t give you the magical green light.
The structure isn’t what you are really looking for anyways.
And confidence doesn’t come down from the sky like a lightning bolt and deem you worthy.

You actually just have to decide.

That it’s time.
That you’re abundant.
That your structure IS working, NOW.
That you are enough, just as you, are, now.

There’s this false pretense floating around all of your minds, that in order to step into the level of success you desire, (whatever that looks like for you), that you are going to have to do MORE work, MORE healing, MORE messaging, MORE meditation, MORE journaling, MORE content.

And of course, while I ALWAYS suggest to my clients that they up their visibility game, their content creation, and their mindset work (duh)….this can also be a slippery slope for people who are thinking when they just “get it right”, and they’ve done “enough”, that THEN, and only then, will they be able to step into the results that they want.

But the reality is this:

You get to step into that NOW.

You get to call it in NOW.

And how amazing, if you begin calling it in NOW, while also simultaneously, get to work on your mindset, your visibility, your content.

There is nothing you actually need to prove.
There is nothing you actually need to prepare.

You get to have everything you want NOW, as soon as you decide to, and act in alignment with that decision.

This is what taking a quantum leap looks like.

You mentally erase all the things you thought you needed to do, prove, be, have, accomplish IN ORDER TO create the result, and you instead CHOOSE the result, WITH YOUR MIND, and then watch the results appear around you.

It WILL feel like magic, at first.

And then you will get used to the fact that you are actually, in fact, creating your reality, and that everything you desire, begins with your mind.

Stop waiting for the green light to appear outside of you.

You ARE the green light.

Go create some magic.

Also, this:

Have you heard about my brand spanking new HIGH LEVEL offering for the badass woman who knows she can have it all and is ready to take the quantum leap into that??

It’s a mastermind + private coaching experience for four months.

Interested?

Click here. 

xx

Surrender To Your Art

Surrender To Your Art.

I’ve had so much bubbling up inside of me as of late, that if I had surrendered to the creative flow, to the words that were calling to pour forth, I honestly would have been up for days, writing.

But instead, I shoved it down. I packed it back in. I swallowed it all. I let it consume me.

The ironic thing is this…

So I have been focusing a lot lately on “my art”. And actually more so on the figuring out of what that actually means to me.

This year, I stepped into deeper layers of my business that I never even knew were possible.

I shifted away from the classic underpinnings of “being an entrepreneur”, i.e. focusing on sales, money, list growth, and “all the things”….

And began to tune into the stir inside of me that was saying…

More.
Lean in.
Expand.
Trust.
There’s more here for you.
This is just the surface stuff.

And so I hired mentors who are creative visionaries and artists FIRST, and profit-growing entrepreneurs SECOND (ironically - these are the ones who are actually making the most money - ironic, but not so ironic really…)

I began to see that my life’s purpose yes IS to be a coach and impact millions and make millions and all of that.

But really?

That’s just the surface.

Because my entire life there has been this knowing, this seed, this feeling, this pull, to something that I could never put words to.

I spent years and years trying to figure out what it was.

But I kept looking for it outside of myself…

In men.
In drugs.
In other people.
In experiences.

All the while, it was inside of me the whole time.

And I had numbed it out for so long, dismissing it as fantasy, or just some odd passing feeling that would come up now and again.

Listen up y’all.

If you feel this niggly feeling deep down inside of you about something bigger, something deeper, something that you feel like you are a moth to a flame for, even if you can’t define it or make sense of it?

You actually cannot possibly run away from it.

It will continue to try and get your attention.

The ironic part is here I am trying to “figure out” what my true art is.

Trying to define it.
Trying to label it.
Trying to organize it into a neat little corner of my brain.

All the while agonizing and perplexing about what my true art is, all while feeling a legitimate BOOK’S worth of deep, profound thoughts coming out of me like a purge, begging to be written down.

No….I’d rather binge watch Bondi Ink in my sweatpants.

Do you see how hilarious this is?

What you are trying to find is already desperately clamoring to be released out of you.

Because, really?

The true art is really just you being you.
You living a life that feels powerful, intentional, creative, alive, aligned, joyful, expansive and purposeful.

And whatever comes out of you in the form of a physical art from that place? From that being?

Well, that’s just the expression of your true art, which is just you being you.

So….

When are you going to surrender to your art?

When are you going to give yourself permission to go after your dreams?

When are you going to give yourself permission to not only go after those dreams of building a multi-million dollar empire and having a New York Times bestseller…..

But those dreams of:
-Expressing yourself fully
-Feeling completely at home in your own body
-Having soulmate friendships
-Traveling the world, and impacting every person you come into contact with
-And anything else that would light your soul on fire?

Because really?

The results you want will come when you are living your life in alignment with your grander purpose, your true self, your deepest desires, and your naked creativity.

It is safe to bare your soul.
It is safe to dig deep.
It is safe to take life by the horns and ride that baby like your whole world depends on it.

Because it does.

It’s time to surrender to your art.

———————-

>>>> Last chance to get into this!! <<<<

If you're interested in: 
- How to sell without selling
- The practice of using your mindset to create anything you want
- How to tune in and listen to what the Universe is trying to deliver through you
- The importance of your environment and how to elevate that
- How to leverage resistance and turn it into an ally

And I gave you all that info FOR FREE, would you be down?

If so, enter HERE for access to the FREE training group! We get started on September 19!!

(I'm only going to roll this free content out if I get 100 people who want it - it's pretty much going to be a live mini course, chock full of content, for zero cost)...Also if you commented already on the post I made about it the other day, you are already on the list and will be added to the group as soon as I get 100 peeps who want it!

***I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR WHO I AM***

Let me tell you WHO I am, deep down at the core, that I am done hiding, shying away from, making myself wrong for, or taking any flack from anyone about.

If this sounds harsh to you, that’s okay, but I am definitely not going to compromise who I am, in order to make you feel comfortable or to keep the peace.

Let this be a lesson for YOU that YOU also get to claim who you are, unapologetically, and you also get to walk away from anyone who can’t accept you FULLY, for who you are.

Got it?

And case in point - those of you who think this post sounds harsh, or too blunt, or negative, or whatever, are missing the point entirely, and therefore…aren’t my people.

But those of you who ARE aligned, will see it for what it is.

A message of empowerment.

Permission to be you.

An opportunity to be responsible for your truth, your beliefs, your perceptions and how you show up in the world.

What you create.

Your results.

All of it….

Ok, so anyways, yesterday I did the (gasp) unmentionable thing of looking at my unsubscribes.

I haven’t done that in weeks, as previously, seeing the individual names who unsubscribed would send me into a tailspin (epecially when those names were close family members or friends).

But for some reason, last night, I got curious and I peeked.

Usually people just put that they are no longer interested but this one in particular stood out to me.

“Too many emails - three in one day”

Um….yeah I sent you three emails in one day!

I GOT FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT MY MESSAGE AND WHAT I HAD TO OFFER!!

So you WANT to be on someone’s list who you don’t love their message enough to hear three of them in one day?!?!

Like, seriously, what the actual fuck?

The people whose email lists I subscribe to?

I am STOKED when there are multiple emails per day stockpiled in my inbox.

Now, I know a lot of you (any my past self included), would take that feedback and make changes, tweak, shift who they are and use this as one more example of not actually doing what you feel called to do and instead?

Trying to please others.
Thinking there is a “right” way.
Following the “rules.”
Thinking it’s not safe to just do what you want.
Thinking you need to change who you are, what you say, and how you show up, in order to please others.

So, my mentor suggested I let YOU (the follower) know EXACTLY who I am, and how I intend to (and will!) do business, and you can gladly unsubscribe, unfollow, if my message and who I am is not a resounding hells yes for you.

And of course, that’s okay, because you are entitled to your opinion and I even ENCOURAGE you to be super fucking clear about who YOU are, and how YOU would like to curate your life.

My point?

I expect many unfollows and unsubscribes from this message today, because my WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT is about getting mega clear on what you are and are not available for and then committing to ONLY living your life from that level of alignment.

I sent an email similar to this not too long ago, but apparently there were some people that didn’t get the memo and still wanted me to be someone I’m not.

I suggest you write a similar declaration to yourself and for yourself (and perhaps for your followers) about who you give yourself permission to be.

And know that your people? Will love you even more for it.
And Not Your People? Well, they will have a reason now to walk away.

So without further ado...

I AM KELLY ATWOOD.

I don’t sugar coat the truth and I say it how I see it and I trigger people on purpose and I say the thing that most people don’t want to hear.

I don’t do anything that I don’t want to do, and often, don’t have a reason.

I believe in people taking FULL responsibility for their lives and I do not surround myself with people who don’t.

I work whenever the fuck I want to, and for however long I want to, and it’s actually no one’s business to tell me what is too much, how long, “bad for me”, etc.

The above point applies to ANYTHING. I am completely unavailable for unsolicited feedback about what I “should” be doing, EXCEPT for from the people I pay thousands of dollars each month to, for that specific purpose.

Sound aggressive?

I don’t care.

Because I also don’t really CARE what other people’s judgments are about the way I do things and the way I show up, and who I am and how I operate, and about my business model, my structure, etc. Have your opinions (OF COURSE!), but don’t think they are going to sway me.

Why?

Because I know best about what’s right for me.

Just like YOU know best what’s right for YOU.

Which is another thing.

I don’t often give feedback to my clients. And this can be frustrating for those who aren’t my ideal clients.

Why don’t I give feedback?

Because you getting validation from external sources, when really what you TRULY invested in when you hired me was the opportunity to start validating yourself from WITHIN, is actually completely counterproductive to the entire point of hiring a coach.

I am not a consultant, I am a coach.

I will not tell you WHAT to do, and HOW to do it.

I will ask you the questions and guide you towards tapping into the answers within.

There’s nothing wrong with people telling you what to do. There are coaches out there like that. And again, it’s all perfect, and to each his own, but I AM NOT THAT COACH.

I swear, often.

I livestream with no makeup on, often.

My dog belches into the camera during livestreams, often.

I sometimes send out one email a week, and other times its three in one day.

I am terrible at calling people back.

I am unavailable for gossiping about other people. I’m more interested in creating, rather than reacting.

I'm a planner and really bad about being spontaneous, EXCEPT for when I am traveling and then there is zero plan, and it's game on.

I am unavailable for political conversations. That doesn’t mean my head is in the sand. It actually means I get to CHOOSE what I focus on, based on the knowing I have that what I focus on grows and so I choose to focus on what I CAN do to make the world a better place. It’s actually WAY more proactive, in my opinion. And you get to have YOUR opinion about that, but telling me I’m wrong for what I believe, is the very thing you’re fighting against, right? Please - if this doesn't resonate with you, just unfollow rather than arguing me in the comments. I'm not available for that. I respect your opinion without trying to sway you, so please respect mine as well.

Victim mentality makes me run for the hills.

I know what it’s like to be dead broke, and so while I get your story, and man oh man, can I feel your pain, I also believe in you fully that you can create a different reality FROM within. Because I did it, and so you can too. Funny how people get triggered by that.

I love dogs and wine and won’t shut up about either.

I had times in my coaching career and was specifically coaching around money and was in Money Breakdown. And I am grateful that I didn’t listen to all the online shaming about being out of integrity around that because I GOT to practice what I was preaching, and cleaned it up and worked out my money shit, rather than stopping and quitting because I felt beat down.

I am FULLY responsible for my perceptions, and I believe that you get to be as well.

I am not available for low vibe bullshit.

I am an Aries and am fiery as fuck, and do this thing where I *pretend* to be more watery and grounded, but I’m actually not. Which is why you may see this entire post as ranty/aggressive/angry, while I actually see it as passionate/uplifting/and powerful. Again, perception….

The biggest struggle for me in my life (and in my coaching business) has been a subtle feeling that I’m not good enough yet, to have what I want, and that if only I did more/had more, that I would finally prove myself WORTHY of claiming my place at the top. (Please - no coaching me around this. I have a coach who is helping me to clean this up). Can you relate?

I believe that there is more power available to us when we find our people and band together, rather than trying to shame/convince/change people who don't share the same views as us.

I don’t believe in showing the world your private shit if you’re not ready.

But I do believe in telling the truth about who you are and what you’re up against to a degree that you feel comfortable with.

I believe that the world is full of contradictions.

I believe that you can have anything you want.

I believe that you are literally creating your own reality, every single second.

I do NOT believe that you need to bend over and let Mercury Retrograde have its way with you. I do believe in it’s affect, but I believe that ultimately? You get to choose your experience, no matter WHAT.

I believe in finding the good in ALL people, even the ones doing evil things.

I believe in self expression.

I believe that everything is always working out for us.

I believe that resistance creates more of what you are resisting.

I believe that life is only as easy/difficult as you allow it to be.

I believe in YOU…if you do ;)

I believe that all of the answers you’ve ever been looking for, are right inside of you.

I have extreme levels of road rage.

Nothing makes me more furious than someone driving like an asshole and putting other people in danger.

Even though I am bold, and clear as fuck about my desires and who I am and what I believe in, I am also extremely gentle, kind, loving, compassionate, and sweet. Yes you can be all of that.

I drink wine every night.

My boyfriend calls me LH (short for Little Hitler) because I am super bossy about domestic shit (i.e. dishes). He also calls me the Little Lou, and I call HIM the Big Lou. Which is hilarious because sometimes people think his actual name is Lou and when I say Ian to them they think I have a new man.

I put myself first and believe that that is the only responsible way to live.

I don’t fully resonate with most people, and for awhile I made myself wrong for that, until I realized that I am just super clear on the type of energy I desire to align myself with.

I LOVE super crunky, hardcore electronic music.

I don’t believe that the money is in the list, or you need to cater to your audience’s needs, or you need to have beautiful branding and a website in order to be successful.

I DO believe you need to be true to you, be authentic, and have a driving force that feels BIGGER THAN YOU, in order to be successful in online business.

I believe that making money becomes easy, when you forget about the need to make money.

I believe that you create your own reality.

I believe that everything is always working out for you.

And I believe that you absolutely MUST be unapologetically YOU, always, because ultimately your life is about being TRULY happy and fulfilled, and the only way to do that is to give yourself FULL permission to be you and go after what you want.

I will never again:
Compromise myself
Devalue myself
Hide myself
Stuff down my truth
Apologize for someone else’s perception of me
Belittle my desires to make someone else comfortable
Not share a message that I feel called to

Can you write yourself a similar declaration?

You see, the people who are going to really enjoy following me, are the people who are ready for this level of truth. Of deep inner work.

Of taking the reins and saying - THIS IS UP TO ME.

And knowing, that in doing so, it doesn’t take away anything from anyone else.

In fact, it helps elevate everyone around you.

So if you’re with me, give me a hells yes. Tell me what you’re ready to commit to for yourself.

And if you want to work with me 1-1 AND be part of a next level mastermind experience with other badass ladies committed to the kind of shit we’re talking about here, send me a PM and we can chat details.

It’s safe to be you.

Stop giving a fuck about what anyone has to say about it.

Give yourself permission to fully own who you are and create your life around that.

**IT’S SAFE TO DIG DEEP AND FEEL THE DISCOMFORT***

How often do you resist the call to dig deep, go within, and feel the pain?

How much are you giving to the effort of avoiding the discomfort, to keep the control, to retain a sense of safety?

Are you afraid to let go?

Afraid to surrender?

Do you trust yourself that it will be okay?

I was mega confronted with some of my personal demons yesterday in a Saturday morning Soulcycle class.

Actually, let me tell you a little story about Soulcycle.

I actually HATE cycling.

Like, HATE IT.

I’ve walked out of countless cycling classes because I just freaking hate it.  No reason why.  Just do.  

So last year when I was gifted a Soulcycle class, I was definitely open to the experience, but also felt for sure that I was going to hate it.

And actually…I had the opposite experience.

I’ve been wanting to write about Soulcycle for awhile and I guess the timing just wasn’t right.

My first Soulcycle class was in Washington, DC, and I was five minutes late to a class and literally had no idea what I was walking into.  I had pictured just a regular cycling class in a brightly lit workout room, bouncing around to some cheesy pop radio shit.

When I ran into the studio, I was quickly escorted into what appeared to be a flashback to my raver days.

I couldn’t see a single face, only a sea of bodies all moving to the rhythm of this beautiful, dark, crunky, song that immediately filled my body with bliss.  

Oooooh I am in the right place.

I felt like I had just been transported to some magical underground wonderland.

My music.

Darkness.

Community.

A sea of nameless faces.

Sweat.

Warmth.

Movement.

I clipped in and started moving.

I had no idea that this class was more about the inner journey.  And since I had been having a rough couple of days leading up to that class, as she spoke these words of truth and power, I began to sob.

And so there I was on this bike, in a sea of faces, sweat dripping down my body, having a fucking existential crisis as I allowed myself to feel all the pain that had built up in my emotional body.

I finally felt safe to let it out.

I was in the dark.

I was unrecognizable to those sitting around me.

And so I released.

*******

One thing that’s always confronted me in Soulcycle classes is a feeling of being trapped.

It’s the same feeling I get when I have a panic attack.

I work through it in every single class and it’s one of the primary reasons I go to Soulcycle in the first place.

Because I know and understand that the only way to heal something is to feel it completely, and so I go into that class each time, welcoming in any fear and discomfort that may come up, physically and emotionally.

Well, yesterday was a doozy.

First of all, it’s like 110 degrees in the shade right now in Austin.

And I didn’t realize that the new teacher that I was excited to check out, well….she’s kind of a badass. (Lauren at the DATX location - check her out!!!)

And I knew I had some anxiety and stress to work out.

So I clipped in and began the ride and immediately felt all the feels come up.

I felt trapped.

I felt nauseous.

I was HOT.

I felt tired.

That inner voice inside was like — noooooooo Kelly, I DON’T WANNA DO THIS TODAY.

She was begging me, please….let’s just stay comfy and safe.

One of the reasons why I love the price tag of a Soulcycle class, is that it holds you accountable to actually showing up for the class and sticking it out through the entirety of it.

So I took some deep breaths, kept sipping my water, and committed to the journey.

I asked myself, “What is actually going to happen if you lean into the fear?  If you surrender to the anxiety, the heat, the pain, the nausea?”

And the answer I got was, “It will dissipate.”

Right on cue, the instructor began speaking to us, reminding us to focus on the music and let the beat transport us.  

And so I surrendered.

I felt the discomfort.

I felt the pain.

I felt the panic.

I allowed myself to feel trapped.

I made peace with the idea that there was no way I was getting out of this room until the class was fucking over.

I surrendered to it.

You see, when you give yourself permission to go deep and FEEL your fears, to shed the layers of guilt, of shame, of panic, and you take a chance that even IF you feel it all, and it feels real and true, that you are STILL going to be okay, and then from that place….?

You begin to trust.

You begin to feel safe.

Because you know, that no matter how real it gets, no matter what comes up, that at the end of the day?

You are safe.

You are supported.

You are loved.

And the Universe has got your back.

The reality is this.  My two biggest fears circulating around in my mind yesterday were a) the possibility that I may vomit during the workout and b) That I would pass out.

Now here’s the thing.  I’m sure somewhere, in some Soulcycle studio somewhere, those two things have already happened.

And so what?  You puke, you make an ass out of yourself, people talk about it for a couple of days and then whatever, life goes on.  Or you pass out and you are surrounded by 50 other people who aren’t just going to sit there and not help you.

Right?

So for me it really boiled down to trusting that I was safe, but also trusting that I was FULLY supported, not just by the Universe, but by all of these strangers all around me.

And so I rode through it.  I sweated it out.  I cried.  I allowed myself to be overcome with these big, scary fears and emotions and just get my gaze locked into my eyes in the mirror, and kept reminding myself over and over and over, you are safe, it’s okay to let go, you are safe, it’s okay to surrender to the fear.

And then, as it always does when you allow yourself to dig deep, the energy began to shift.

I found myself freed up to enjoy this sense of euphoria that was quickly coming over me, and then enhanced by Lauren putting on a song that she said reminded her of summer, and I am desperately trying to figure out what song that was because oh my god it was so blissful and I felt chills all over me…

And then the instructor began dancing in the front of the room to the song, so freely, with so much joy, with so much playfulness that I immediately burst into tears.  And I thought of the rally that I had ridden by on my way into downtown and I thought about how all the fucked up shit that is going on in the world, and how in the midst of it all, here we all were, just riding together, and experiencing bliss, and feeling grateful, and just joined together in this beat, this synchronicity, all being strangers and having that be absolutely okay.  We didn’t need to know each other’s names, we didn’t need to know anything about each other except that we were IN IT together, and that what we were doing in there together, and for ourselves, and what we were committed to in that ride together, and for ourselves, was exactly everything we knew to do, to elevate all the bullshit going on outside of that room.

We had escaped.

We had elevated.

We had bonded together a shared goal.  A shared journey.  

And each of us, collectively, faced our own demons and worked out our own fears and doubts.

And we each felt the energy shift, as we rode to that beautiful song, and felt our hearts expand with love and appreciation.

So really, I do in fact, hate cycling.

But Soulcycle isn’t about that at all.

For me, it’s about facing my shit.  My demons.  And learning how to trust.

It’s about releasing all the built up sadness, the grief, the shame, the rage, the hurt, in a safe space.

It’s about redefining my party days.  About putting myself in almost the exact same atmosphere but with a healthier outcome.

It’s about feeling that sense of community.

It’s about holding onto hope.

It’s about knowing that we are going to be okay.  No matter what’s going on for us individually, or collectively as a planet.

We are going to be okay.

So if you are avoiding feeling ANYTHING right now, and you’re afraid to go deep and you know that there is great healing for you there, but you don’t wanna, and you’re scared, I just want to remind you today…

You are safe.

You are held.

You are supported.

It is safe to trust.

It is safe to surrender.

IT IS SAFE TO FEEL.

Allow yourself to release.

Allow yourself to be present to what is going on.

All of it.

And then feel it, release it, and trust..

YOU ARE SAFE.

***YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU ARE YOU***

Ohhhhh man, I am so excited for this blog post today.

I was just journaling up a frenzy of juicy shit and it went into a direction of who I get to be and why I don't need to explain myself to anyone, ever again.

Because THAT is a thing I do.

Let me justify why you should listen to me, why I took a particular action, why I feel this way, said this thing, said it in this way, etc, etc.

I was thinking about Discovery Calls and how when I was first coaching and talking to people about my services, how I always felt like I had to "convince" them or "show" them why they would want to work with me.

Like who I was being wasn't enough.

And I see this everywhere in my life, and yours too.

The reality?

You don't ever owe anyone an explanation, EVER, for who you are, what you do, and how you do it.

EVER.

And if you find yourself continually justifying your life to everyone around you, then perhaps it's time to give yourself permission to NOT do that anymore!!

I was thinking also about the people I have been following and spending my virtual and physical time with since I've upleveled....these are some badass people who are mega successful and completely 1000% unapologetic about their lives.

Meaning, they don't need to justify anything.

And anyone who demands a justification? Well....that's just not the kind of person that stays in their orbit for too long!

I was thinking about how recently I've heard multi-millionaires who I respect and adore, casually talking about making loads of money, spending loads of money, and remarking so playfully, isn't it is so easy and fun to make millions and spend millions?? All I have to do is be me!!

And I am the first to admit that three years ago, that kind of attitude towards money (and life) would have triggered me BIG TIME.

But as my relationship with money continues on its healing journey and I take more and more responsibility for my own joy, my own experience, my own LIFE, now I am at a place where I absolutely LOVE hearing people relate to money in this way.

Which then got me thinking...

In order to be that unapologetic, you have to be in the business of never caring to justify yourself about anything.

Because you GET to just be you and let it be what it is.

You get to make bold statements that you know certain people aren't going to like, and you don't care because you know what??

If those people hadn't of said those things, I wouldn't have even known what was possible for me.

I'm so GRATEFUL they didn't tone themselves down to make other people comfortable.

So do you see that it is not only for YOU, but that if you came to this planet and said I WANT TO HELP HEAL THE PLANET, than it is your DUTY to be unapologetically you?

It is your DUTY to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about it and then when someone has something to say about it, it is also your duty to NOT take responsibility FOR THEM, for THEIR perception.

Do you see what lesson this brings to the world?
Do you see what permission you grant others when you commit to living your life this way?

So, my love, it's safe to be you.
You don't need to convince ANYONE of your value.
You don't need to hold another's hand too tight to see the light you see.

But you DO need to be YOU. All of you. And never ever ever justify or apologize about that to anyone.

PS You have four more days to get your tooshie in the door for Stop Drop and Journal!!!  We start Monday!!! 💥💥✨

Stop Drop and Journal is for you if:
---> You want to learn how to Journal your dreams into reality
---> You need accountability around staying consistent with your daily journaling
---> You are having trouble manifesting
---> You want to ramp up your mindset game
---> You're ready to experience some mega magic in your manifestation process
---> You want all of the above AND want to test the waters with me as your mentor (super discounted VIP rates for 1-1 coaching upgrade available- FIVE SPOTS ONLY!!!)

The time is now.

Let's Stop, Drop and Journal.

Sign up here: https://kellyatwood.lpages.co/write-your-reality/
 

***IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT ACTION YOU TAKE***

Just now I was writing out in my journal everything I would need to believe is true, in order to receive everything that I want in my life.

One of the things that came out as I listened to and wrote from my inner knowing, was that I would believe that I can take any action I want, as long as I believe it would work.

Let me explain this a little bit more.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been obsessed with to-do list making.

I always know exactly what I am going to do each day.

Now I get that the origins of this were perhaps extremely unhealthy, especially as I was using my control over what I COULD do, to escape all of the things that were going on outside of me that were way beyond my control.

I’ve done the therapy.

I’ve done the healing.

---->This isn’t what I’m talking about today.

But alas, I’ve always been a to-do list maker, hustler, action-taker, doing machine.

For a good 25 years of my life, I have shamed myself for that.

I’ve been told by countless others that this wasn’t okay.

---->But we aren’t talking about that today either.

It is or it isn’t, who cares really?

Because (and this is my point) — it’s not about the action anyway.

And so, at the end of the day, if it’s not about the action anyways, then who really cares WHY you’re doing it and all the judgments and labels you may want to assign to that?

I recently had a HUGE breakthrough around this.

It was after the mastermind event I attended in LA with my new mentor.

I found myself bringing my incessant to-do list making to the table, yet again.

Another year, another coach, another roundtable discussion, same fucking issue.

And when I came home, I journaled around it.

Every day.

I went around and around in circles trying to figure out HOW to bust through this, HOW to create a breakthrough, trying to find my way out of the maze of my struggle with this IDEA that I was DOING it all wrong, because of HOW I was doing it and why can’t I just relax and let it go and be like the NORMAL PEOPLE?!?!

And then one day, after about seven straight days of furious journal writing — it dawned on me.

I couldn’t break it up, because I thought there was something to break up.

Does that make sense?

I couldn’t get past it because I was relating to it as a problem, instead of just accepting it for what it is and giving myself permission to ask the deeper questions.

Because it’s not so much the DOING that was a giant distraction for me, but more so my obsession with SHAMING and ANALYZING myself for the DOING.

BINGO.

I realized that no matter what I do — list of 77 things, or totally free-forming my day…..that at the END of the day, nothing really matters except my mindset and what I was believing the whole time I was doing.

So from there, I get to choose.

I can give myself permission to be busy as fuck, if that’s what I feel like doing, and not make myself wrong for it.

Or I can also give myself permission to say fuck all (Brits - did I use that expression right??), and not make myself wrong for that either.

Because whatever you believe will work, will actually work.

Because that’s how it works.

So get yourself over this constant hangup around WHAT you’re doing and HOW MUCH and WHEN and all that jazz that’s distracting you from the deeper work of CHOOSING how you want it to look, and what you believe to be true and focusing on the magic that you are creating all around you.

Yeh?

It’s never about the action, it’s about your belief in it working.