I have a confession to make.
Not because it’s “popular” or “trendy” or “good for engagement”.
But because I made a commitment a long time ago, to live into my truth and to share that truth with my community, online and off.
This confession is probably not what you think it’s going to be.
I see a lot of online leaders making confessions about where they have been out of integrity and I think that that is AMAZING. It paves the way for a higher level of leadership, authenticity, and TRUTH.
In the past couple of years, I have felt energies coming from people, and I’ve seen ways that they have operated online, in the public eye, and also behind closed doors and in private.
And a lot of it has not sat well with me. And of course, it is all a part of being human, right?
We all have our darkness and the shit we get to work on, shift and transform.
But here’s where I’m going with this:
I’ve watched a lot of leaders call each other out, directly, and passive aggressively online.
Shit, I was called out in a room full of people, without my name actually being said.
And what I was being called out for, even though I knew deep down was not true about me, I took on as my own judgment.
You see, it is REALLY easy to give someone else credit, and make yourself wrong, if you aren’t standing fully in your own power.
I made other people’s judgments of me TRUE, even though I knew, deep down, that I was acting in a high level o f integrity.
So this is my confession: I have allowed other people’s perceptions and judgments, to create my own beliefs about my own integrity.
Even though, I’ve always known (and stayed committed to) operating from a high level of integrity.
My intentions have always been pure.
My values have always been in alignment with my heart.
And I swayed from that. I began to make myself wrong for things that I was never wrong for.
All of this came to the surface today, in a session with one of my amazing mentors, when I shared with her some more unfoldings of a deep self worth thing that we are unpacking at the moment.
In the past couple of days, I’ve really seen and been shown how high of a level of integrity, service, compassion, and authenticity I actually operate (and have operated at).
Part of my commitment in life is to ALWAYS be responsible for my own life, my own experiences, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, etc, so I am in no way here being a victim to “what other people have said or done.”
But I do want to point this out, because maybe you are doing this right now too.
Are you allowing people who are “further along” than you, “more successful” than you, “more creative” than you, WHATEVER, to dictate what you know to be true about yourself?
It’s a good question to ask yourself.
Because only you know what to be true for you.
And YOU know whether or not you are in integrity or not.
No one else can define that for you.
And most of the time, when people show up, guns ablazing, shaming someone else for the way they are doing things, it’s usually not even ABOUT the person who the finger is pointing at, right?
Everything is a mirror.
And there are a LOT of projections at play.
So the lesson here for me (and hopefully for you too, if you are resonating with this post), is to be brave enough to have your own back.
Be brave enough to take a look at WHO YOU ARE AT THE CORE and decide for YOURSELF if you are acting in full integrity and alignment, or not.
Nobody else gets to define you, except you.
Nobody else gets to choose what is true for you, except you.
The lesson here is to love yourself enough, and to claim your worth enough, to really OWN the places where you ARE in integrity, and also the places where you are not.
So this lightbulb today was brilliant one for me.
I have always known that I am really good at what I do.
I have always known that I put service first.
I have always known that I am not interested in competing.
I have always known that I will not sell my soul for money.
I have always known that I am honest about who I am.
Yet my self worth stuff came up and I actually started to believe that maybe I DIDN’T have the best intentions.
How could I when Sally Sue said that “coaches who do x,y,z are out of integrity.” I mean, she’s making triple in her income what I am currently making so SURELY she MUST know better than I do, and SURELY EVEN must know more about WHO I AM AT THE CORE, THAN I DO RIGHT??
Be brave enough to know who you are on a deep, deep level.
Be brave enough to define yourself.
Be brave enough to not allow other people’s opinions to sway you.
If this post resonates with you, and you are wanting to dive into deeper and deeper levels of authenticity and truth in your messaging, your tribe building, and your business as a whole, this is just ONE of the things I focus on with my 1:1 clients.
I’ve got three (potentially 2 as I am in conversation with someone who is interested in signing up) spaces open at the moment. If you’re ready to go DEEP, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org for details.