Last night, I had a realization. And it HURT like a mo'fo.
I was listening to a training for a mastermind that I am a part of that was talking about selling, and really the importance of being YOU in your business.
So pretty much what I train my clients on.
Here's what hurt.
I always thought "being out of integrity" meant not telling the truth, not living in accordance with your morals/values, being shady, being a douche, etc (my personal definition, mind you)...
I never thought about it as being out of alignment with who you really are.
And as it was presented to me as this last night, I felt a huge lump forming in my throat because I realized something that I've sort of realized in the recent past, but this time it came and soccer punched me in the gut in a whole new fashion.
I HAVE BEEN VERY OUT OF INTEGRITY IN MY BUSINESS SINCE THE BEGINNING.
I never thought I was because I was telling the truth, living by my values, coming from service, and playing by the rules.
BUT I WASN'T LISTENING TO MY OWN HEART.
To my own soul.
To my own desires.
It was easier to follow the herd, and then vomit out to my own clients the exact systems and strategies I had learned, and make it all about THAT, rather than what it's ACTUALLY about.
I didn't become a coach to ram proven strategies down people's throats and I know that deep down.
But the truth is, it is WAY easier to do what you're told, and follow the yellow brick road, and listen to exactly what your coach tells you to do, and do it the way you see everyone else doing it, than it is to actually take the risk of listening to your own inner guidance and potentially have people walk away, not like you, think you're a fucking wacko for running your business that way, etc.
It's so much easier to blend it than it is to do the REAL inner work of discovering who you REALLY are and then UNLEASHING that onto the world like it's nobody's business.
This isn't a new revelation, mind you.
In fact, I created a program in January called Unleash that spoke to this very idea.
But when I really got clear last night, how literally every single thing I was saying and doing and believing in my business was regurgitated from what I learned from somebody else and when I sat down to journal out the answer to the question, "Who am I?", I LITERALLY could not answer it.
Because it's easy to lose yourself in the crowd in the world of online business.
And it's acceptable to.
I don't want to build a multi-million dollar brand on someone else's definition of who I should be while building it.
I want to be me.
I want to say what I believe.
I want to teach what I want to teach, how I want to teach it.
I want to charge what I want to charge.
I want to be as "aggressive" as I see fit.
I want to be SO CONFIDENT in that, that I don't even SEE the haters hating.
I want to be CREATIVE.
I want to think outside the box.
I want to defy everyone's belief about what's possible.
I want to ruffle feathers if it opens minds.
I want to say NO to all the clients, projects, tasks and opportunities that are not a HELLS YES.
And I want to say, without one second of hesitation, HELLS YES to the things I probably "shouldn't" say yes to, because they are too risky, too far-fetched, or just so ridiculously in line with my BIGGEST dreams and goals.
I want to rocket launch my ship, knowing that it's MINE, and wasn't constructed from someone else's idea of what it should look like.
And I now understand that the right people will come along. And the wrong people (for me) will leave.
And that that's okay.
I'm done settling.
I'm done trying to fit in.
I'm done listening to everyone else except for myself.
I'm done denying my inner voice and desire.
I'm done wasting my time on shit that doesn't feel good to me.
And I'm done pretending I'm not a total badass, for fear of making other people uncomfortable.
What are you done with?
Are you ready to stop the song and dance?
Ready to OWN who you are and let that be enough?
Ready to give yourself permission to be YOU and create a business and life you love from that?