I keep catching glimpses of it.
Remembrances of the way things used to be.
It’ll come all subtly.
Like in a whiff of rosemary on the sidewalk.
Or from a song I used to listen to.
And I remember the way things used to be.
Before I decided it wasn’t okay to let loose.
To enjoy my life.
To get a little crazy.
Maybe you can relate?
Perhaps a lot of people who have gone through any giant undertaking of personal development work or coach training can relate to this experience.
Of denying yourself certain experiences. Certain behaviors. Certain outlets.
Because you are so busy “working on yourself”.
Eyes on the path.
You begin to make selections based on what’s “wrong”, and what’s “right”.
This is no longer acceptable.
This is no longer appropriate.
Oh, crap! I cannot be a successful, respected, leader and also do x, y, z.
I remember the first time I saw a picture of a coach who I really looked up to and admired, at Burning Man.
It actually shocked me.
Like I had this moment of….ohhhhhhh…..
I can still be HER (insert old version of me), and also be ME (insert new version of me).
Like…I can actually do both…?
The more I play around with this aspect of integration, in many different respects, not just merging past lifestyles with current, but also in the integration of our shadow selves with our light, with accepting the “good” with the “bad”, of marrying the parts into the whole….
The more I consider it, the more examples I see of it.
I just sent my weekly Be, Do, Have Goals to my mastermind accountability buddy, as we do each Monday morning.
I noticed I had written the word PLAY three times in my writing.
Last night, I had so much fun with my boyfriend’s family as we ate the most DELICIOUS brisket, and then sat around the living room together and told jokes and laughed and just had SUCH a wonderful evening together.
Nothing else was required.
I notice that I just want to laugh, and play, and be free, and crazy, and wild, and NOT make myself WRONG for it.
I held myself back in so many ways when I first started this path.
I broke up with EVERYTHING that I had been crazy about because I didn’t think it could come with me.
I stopped listening to my electronic music.
I stopped reading all of these amazingly inspiring fiction books I used to read.
I would SHAME myself heavy after a night of one too many cocktails.
I would get mad at myself if I had a moment of weakness and had a rant fest about someone’s behavior that was driving me bananas.
I was losing my humanity in the process of becoming spiritually evolved.
I was losing my creativity, my bliss, my alignment, my YES.
And as I step into the next level, as I commit this week to allowing myself to stretch and expand into new ways of being and existing in the world, I am setting the intention to bring as much of my old self BACK and to integrate her with everything I am creating.
I get now, that I can build a multiple seven figure business AND dance my ass off in the middle of the desert with reckless abandon.
I get now, that I can be wise and a leader and a highly sought after coach, and still have a crazy night out on the town with my girlfriends.
I get that I can be super spiritual and compassionate and loving, and also have a full freakout when I feel like I’ve been mistreated.
So my question for you is this:
What part of yourself are you sacrificing, in the name of your own evolution?
Yes, it’s true that some things will need to be left behind.
But are you allowing yourself to get lit up by your life and your process?
Are you allowing yourself to be honest about what lights you up and including that as part of your non-negotiables?
Are you continually tuning into what REALLY lights you up?
I think a big part of why I felt so incomplete when I hit six figures in my second year of business yet felt deflated, was because I had sacrificed so much of my SOUL to get there, and I felt like I was dying inside.
It’s not that I necessarily pushed too hard or strived too hard, but I cut off so many parts of myself to make my business work, and when it did? I could hardly recognize myself.
I had surrounded myself with people that I had nothing in common with, besides our entrepreneurial adventures.
I needed to be dancing in the redwoods to the music I loved.
I needed to be reading my Nietzsche.
I needed to be on wild adventures.
I needed to be having conversations about the Universe.
And I wasn’t.
<Churn it out>
<Be who they expect you to be>
<Don’t show them who you really are because they won’t take you seriously>
It has come to my attention in a really big and powerful way in the past couple of months, that the way TO the success that actually feels truly fulfilling on a deep cellular level, is to BE ALL OF YOU, and build your business from THAT place.
So I choose PLAY.
I choose ADVENTURE.
I choose HIGH VIBERY.
I choose WILD.
I choose FREEDOM.
I choose BLISS.
I choose PASSION.
I choose to allow myself to be my normal exuberant, high on life, playful, always laughing self, not in order to build the business, but because THAT is what will create TRUE happiness in my life, which in turn??
WILL BUILD A BUSINESS THAT BLOWS MY MIND.
What part of you do you need to bring back?
What part of yourself do you need to retrieve?
I’d love to hear in the comments what comes up for you.
———————->>> Part of my old self retrieval is OWNING and EMBRACING my absolute love and obsession for wine. When I lived in Santa Cruz, I went to wine school, worked at two area wineries, AND sold wine independently for Cameron Hughes. All while working various restaurant jobs where I got to sell and talk about wine.
Needless to say, I’m head over heels for the vino.
I am in awe of how each harvest tells a story. How the stars just seem to align for that one particular vineyard, at that one particular location, to create absolute magic.
So when the opportunity to join the Direct Cellars business came into my life, it was obviously a HELLS YES. I had actually told myself I would never be in another MLM, but this one really shook it up for me. Besides the fact that you literally get paid to drink wine, the compensation plan is CRAZY (like, super easy to make ACTUAL money, and you don’t need to wait two years to do it), the wines are high quality wines that I would be seeking out anyways, the people are cool, AND it’s ground floor time which means it’s the best time to get in.
I am currently building a team of ten people who want in on the business opportunity. I’m excited to support my team through weekly mindset calls and of course, one on one support to help them increase their own sales and teams. I’ve got five people who are currently reviewing the details to see if it's a hells yes for them, and they are all people who I know are going to CRUSH it in this business.
Do you want to be one of the other five? PM me for details. If you like to drink wine, and you want the chance to make REALLY good money, send me a message and we can talk more about the opportunity.
Or, if you don’t want to make the extra money, but you DO want to become a wine club member (and check it out —> there’s a way to get your monthly wine for FREE), then send me a PM and I can tell you about the club options and how to get it for free.