Just now I was writing out in my journal everything I would need to believe is true, in order to receive everything that I want in my life.
One of the things that came out as I listened to and wrote from my inner knowing, was that I would believe that I can take any action I want, as long as I believe it would work.
Let me explain this a little bit more.
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been obsessed with to-do list making.
I always know exactly what I am going to do each day.
Now I get that the origins of this were perhaps extremely unhealthy, especially as I was using my control over what I COULD do, to escape all of the things that were going on outside of me that were way beyond my control.
I’ve done the therapy.
I’ve done the healing.
---->This isn’t what I’m talking about today.
But alas, I’ve always been a to-do list maker, hustler, action-taker, doing machine.
For a good 25 years of my life, I have shamed myself for that.
I’ve been told by countless others that this wasn’t okay.
---->But we aren’t talking about that today either.
It is or it isn’t, who cares really?
Because (and this is my point) — it’s not about the action anyway.
And so, at the end of the day, if it’s not about the action anyways, then who really cares WHY you’re doing it and all the judgments and labels you may want to assign to that?
I recently had a HUGE breakthrough around this.
It was after the mastermind event I attended in LA with my new mentor.
I found myself bringing my incessant to-do list making to the table, yet again.
Another year, another coach, another roundtable discussion, same fucking issue.
And when I came home, I journaled around it.
I went around and around in circles trying to figure out HOW to bust through this, HOW to create a breakthrough, trying to find my way out of the maze of my struggle with this IDEA that I was DOING it all wrong, because of HOW I was doing it and why can’t I just relax and let it go and be like the NORMAL PEOPLE?!?!
And then one day, after about seven straight days of furious journal writing — it dawned on me.
I couldn’t break it up, because I thought there was something to break up.
Does that make sense?
I couldn’t get past it because I was relating to it as a problem, instead of just accepting it for what it is and giving myself permission to ask the deeper questions.
Because it’s not so much the DOING that was a giant distraction for me, but more so my obsession with SHAMING and ANALYZING myself for the DOING.
I realized that no matter what I do — list of 77 things, or totally free-forming my day…..that at the END of the day, nothing really matters except my mindset and what I was believing the whole time I was doing.
So from there, I get to choose.
I can give myself permission to be busy as fuck, if that’s what I feel like doing, and not make myself wrong for it.
Or I can also give myself permission to say fuck all (Brits - did I use that expression right??), and not make myself wrong for that either.
Because whatever you believe will work, will actually work.
Because that’s how it works.
So get yourself over this constant hangup around WHAT you’re doing and HOW MUCH and WHEN and all that jazz that’s distracting you from the deeper work of CHOOSING how you want it to look, and what you believe to be true and focusing on the magic that you are creating all around you.
It’s never about the action, it’s about your belief in it working.